In this post, I’m going to share all the lessons I have learnt during this period of single-dom. I think that there are so many negative connotations that come with being single but it can actually be (and has proven to be) a very transformational period in a woman’s life. Contrary to what society may think or suggest, choosing to be single or being single for a long time doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you or that you’re picky…
1) The first few months as a single person WILL be challenging (do not listen to anyone who tells you they will not be).
You will cry, you will smile, you will experience a multitude of emotions all at once.
2) Understand that you are embarking on a new journey and you will need to get to know yourself again, no matter how self assured you feel.
3) It really is better to be alone and happy than to be unhappy in a relationship. If you are not happy, walk away.
4) A relationship should be your safe haven. Any relationship you are in should serve and honour you. If it doesn’t, you need to leave.
5) Don’t be afraid to reevaluate your standards. Know what it is that you want and don’t settle!
6) Your circle is everything! Surround yourself with people who support and uplift you.
7) You will have times where you will reminisce and wonder if you made a mistake. Don’t beat yourself up when this happens, it’s natural to miss what you once had especially if you were in a long term relationship. Be thankful for the times you spent in your union and the lessons it has taught you.
8) You are single because you are supposed to be. Enjoy this period! Work, smile, eat, have fun, do what makes you happy!
9) Don’t let the opinions of others influence your choices. Just because you have been single for a while, it doesn’t mean you need someone special in your life. You make decisions that are right for you and no one else.
10) Exes will try and come back into your life. This in inevitable. Stay strong, remind yourself of why you had to leave that particular situation.
11) Comparison is the thief of joy. Run your own race. Things may not seem amazing now but everything is coming together for your good.
12) Don’t feel like a failure because things didn’t work out. It may be hard to accept but everything happens for a reason. If that’s where you were meant to be, things would have flowed effortlessly.
13) Don’t deny your emotions. If you’re not ok, that’s absolutely fine. We all have moments when we aren’t ourselves. It’s life.
14) Keep your head up, look forward and smile.
15) Don’t settle! Don’t settle! Don’t settle.
16) Affirmations are everything, especially if you are finding it hard to lift your mood. Affirm that you are worthy of love and other positive self talk. Remember that you attract what you magnify.
17) Everyone who shows you attention isn’t worthy of your time.
18) Your time, energy and space are SO precious. Invest carefully.
19) Treat yourself! Don’t be afraid to treat yourself. Get your hair done, take yourself out to eat, go and watch your favourite film. Do the things you enjoy! Learn how to enjoy your own company.
20) Own this moment in your life. You don’t owe anyone any explanations.
Over the past year and a half, I have learned so much. I can honestly say that I haven’t taken this period in my life for granted. One thing I would advice single women (and men) to do is have an open mind. You have to love yourself before you can truly love someone else. Don’t be afraid of this season. One day, you will look back and you will be grateful for this period in your life.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this post.
For those of you who are struggling to move on from a breakup, I created this thread on Twitter about a year ago which you can view here.
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