5 Signs It’s Time To End A Friendship

This post is pretty self explanatory to be honest. As we get older, our circle of friends will increase or decrease. It’s so important to have a strong friendship support system: one that encourages, supports and uplifts you at all times.

Here are five signs that it’s time to walk away from a friendship:

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1) One sided friendships

Your time, energy and space is so precious so make time for people who make time for you. If they are constantly cancelling plans or not texting or phoning you on a fairly regular basis, then you need to reconsider your friendship. Yes, we are all busy with life. Yes, we all have responsibilities BUT we will make time for the people we want to be around, so don’t be fooled. What you’re giving and what you’re getting should level up in your friendship.

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2) Terrible behaviour

This is one of the biggest friendship killers. If your friend gossips about you, they can’t be trusted. If your friend does things they know will hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable then they are not your friend. It’s up to you to create a threshold for tolerance – once anyone gets over it, you need to cut them out. As with relationships, set the standard for friendships too. Be open, be understanding, be forgiving but do not be a doormat. Without trust, there can be no friendship. If your friend is ‘stanning’ for you in your face but doing the opposite when your back is turned then they are not your friend. Keep it moving.

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3) Lack of contact

Any effort you make in a friendship should be reciprocated. Being the only one making contact or arranging to meet can be very draining. Sometimes, its not even about arranging meets, just sending a message to your friend to check on them can make a difference to their day. When friendships are forced, they lack genuinity. One thing you need to know (if you don’t already) – is that there are people out there forming friendships solely on the basis of gaining and giving nothing in return. Look out for so called friends who get in touch only when they need something. 

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4) Toxicity

Some friendships will help us grow while others won’t. It is a fact of life. Friendships, like relationships do have the ability to become toxic. If you don’t feel secure or happy around your friend, this can be a sign of trouble. Remember that healthy friendships are built around mutual respect, compassion, freedom of thinking, love, sharing and most importantly listening. If your friendship is leaving you drained them its time to cut it.

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5) Losses and Gains – Pree their reactions

Now, it would have been impossible for me to do a friendship post without talking about L’s and G’s, otherwise known as losses and gains. Both play a significant role in allowing us to determine how our friends feel about us really. When you take an L, you should have the support of your friend (100%). They should make sure you are fine and try to reassure you in some way. Women should always support each other. 

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However, on the other hand, if you experience a gain (whether its work, love or any other kind of progression), are your friends genuinely happy for you? Or do they find a way to verbally minimise your achievement(s)? Sometimes, elevation requires isolation and you may find yourself losing a few friends whether you take an L or a G and that’s ok. Thank God for the time they spent in your life and wish them well in all they go on to do.

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I was on Twitter late last year, scrolling my feed and I saw a young woman tweet about her attainment of a new job. She then went on to add that when she informed a close friend about her exciting new opportunity, she was less than happy for her. I found it quite shocking but unfortunately, these are the times that we live in. You will be very surprised at which life events (good or bad) add or remove people from your world.

What are your friendship dealbreakers? I always love to hear from you so feel free to drop a comment below!

Cheers to healthy and lifelong friendships in 2018.

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Thank you for reading and don’t forget to like and subscribe 

Kel xo

 

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18 Comments
  • Rayven Satterfield
    February 23, 2018

    I love this!

  • sayeedahsparkles
    February 23, 2018

    very good guide! totally agree with these! xo

  • Wini Boansi
    February 23, 2018

    Nothing but the TRUTH was stated in this post! I’ve left a lot of people in 2017, and I’ve never felt so free.

    • Its Kelle's Space
      February 23, 2018

      Girl! Preach it! There are so many articles and tips on how to end/re-evaluate relationships but no one drops similar gems for friendships so I just had to do this post.
      Leaving people who deter your growth behind is essential. It’s like a huge weight being lifted off your shoulders.

  • Sugar and Honey lady
    February 23, 2018

    So true! Loved reading this! Nowadays people think that the more “friends” they have on FB, or wherever, the more popular they are. They should realize that these are just “acquaintances” and not “real” friends.

    • Its Kelle's Space
      February 23, 2018

      Thank you! Absolutely.
      Even in real life, a lot of people think their acquaintances are their friends.
      They can’t separate the two.

  • Courtney Livingston
    February 24, 2018

    So many great points! Sometimes friendships have their ups and downs and it’s okay to end it..at least until that friend comes back around!

    • Its Kelle's Space
      February 24, 2018

      I agree.
      If the friendship is repairable then by all means give things another try.
      I’m glad you liked the post 😊!

  • Chai and Lipstick
    February 24, 2018

    Those are some really great points you made.. thanks for sharing ❤️

  • lifewithlilred
    February 24, 2018

    Hello! I nominated you for the Liebster Award. You can view the post on my page on Monday! Happy writing! xx Sarah

  • humanswithfoodnames
    March 5, 2018

    This post was right on time! I feel like as adults we try and make excuses fro our friends not hitting us up all the time because we’re all supposedly “adulting” and dealing with life as it comes but it literally takes a second to send a text or initiate a meet-up just to catch up. We have to start holding people accountable and make them earn a spot in our lives! Saying no to people doing the bare minimum in my life.

    • Its Kelle's Space
      March 5, 2018

      Exactly!
      We are so protective over our relationships that we forget to apply the same thinking when looking for and maintaining a friendship. I agree with everything you’ve said.
      People need to start earning spots in our lives instead of them being so freely given.

  • Jhanae Allen
    March 11, 2018

    I love this post! I found your site when I was looking at another blogger’s comments. You had commented and stated your site. After clicking and viewing, I am delighted to read more of your posts. Here’s to more good blogging content! Thanks for sharing this Kelle

    • Its Kelle's Space
      March 11, 2018

      Thank you so much for your comment.
      This means a lot to me.
      I have followed you back and I look forward to reading more of your posts too ☺️

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