How To Stop Comparison From Stealing Your Joy

Posted on

Comparison is defined as ‘the act of looking at things to see how they are similar or different. When you think about it, comparisons do play a role in our day to day lives. We are always looking at things, developing perceptions and then acting on them (if need be). In this post, I’m going to be focusing on comparisons from a different angle.

I created a poll on Twitter asking my readers what they wanted the next post on IKS to be and the majority of tweeters voted for this one. As we live in a ‘social media’ age, it doesn’t surprise me at all that most millennials (myself included) can fall under the spell of making comparisons. A wise man once said ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ and they were right. There is honestly no joy to be found when you compare your life to that of another. We have all been created for a reason, we all have a purpose and we all run our own individual races. Nobody’s journey will ever be the same.
Here are some ways that you can stop comparison from stealing your joy.
Understand that you have a choice
It’s easier said than done, but when you are comparing your life to someone else’s or wishing you looked like your favourite influencer on Instagram, you are choosing to deprive yourself of joy. We live in a social media age where everyone wants to brag about their achievements or tell the world that they are ‘living their best lives’ on any given occasion. This is the unfortunate state of our society. Channel your energy into focusing on you. Think about what makes you happy and how you can stay positive.Take a break from social media if that’s the source of your dissatisfaction. Sometimes, if I find myself spending a bit too much time on social media, I’ll write something up for the blog or I’ll listen to some music. I’m also a huge fan of meditation. It’s fantastic for promoting a sense of inner peace and calm. If you like the idea of meditating, check this out.
giphy-downsized (73)
Focus on you
Sometimes, we spend so much time worrying about what others are doing and saying that we forget to focus on ourselves. It’s O.K to feel like you are stuck in a rut when it comes to certain areas of your development. Instead of trying to keep up with people around you, think about some personal goals you would like to achieve. Is there a course you’d like to do? or Maybe you need to watch a inspirational video or listen to a podcast that relates to your vision? Constant comparisons do rid you of one of the most important elements of being: time. Spend your time on things that are important to your wellbeing.
Be grateful
Gratitude is so important. It is hard to be grateful in a world that is constantly telling us we need more, particularly in the material sense. In times when I need to practice gratitude, I remind myself of how far I have come and what I have achieved. Once I think about the gift of life, I’m reminded to stay present and that what God has for me is for me. Another thing you could do to practice gratitude is to keep a journal. Write down the things you are most grateful for every day. Alternatively, you could write your achievements down on small pieces of paper, keep them in a jar and then look at them as a reminder. As I’m more of a writer, I find it easier to keep a journal. There’s never one fixed way to be grateful, so do what is right for you.
Avoid triggers
Triggers are ever present and sometimes all it will take is a certain image, post or article to make us feel a certain way. If you are able to identify your own triggers, then try and distance yourself from them. For example, if you know you aren’t in the greatest of moods, you may decide not to use social media for the day. Taking the time out to ensure you are OK is not a crime. Another way to avoid triggers is to develop a routine. Instead of checking your phone first thing in the morning, why not pray or meditate or just simply spend a few minutes planning your day.
Ceasing to compare yourself with others has become one of life’s most difficult challenges. We live in a world where everybody wants to ‘keep up with the Joneses’. In the midst of the madness, always remember to focus on you. If there’s an account you need to unfollow: do it. If you need to take a break from socialising: do it. Your inner peace and happiness is paramount to your wellbeing. Don’t take it for granted.
Lastly, I’d like to add that nobody’s journey will ever be the same. Embrace your lane, slay in it, be thankful for it. There is a reason for your season.
I hope you have enjoyed this post, please feel free to let me know what you think.
Also, don’t forget to like and subscribe to Its Kelle’s Space.
Kel xo

Subscribe so you don’t miss a post

Sign up with your email address to receive news and updates!

What do you think?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  • John Aiwone
    September 4, 2018

    I’ve been struggling a lot with the comparison game to be totally honest. I’ve been comparing myself a lot to other bloggers and ir has been so damaging. I’d get so triggered by what they say and post on Twitter or Instagram my feelings would become irrational. When I realised it was getting worse (because I knew it’s not actually that deep of a competition) I stepped away from social media for a fortnight to rethink things. I would even start watching videos about the effects of social media to find something to relate to my troubles more and understand it all.
    Now I just check social media 3 times a day to promote my blog and see what’s going in the world rather than scrolling constantly. The way we use social media can push a lot of insecurities, some I’m not afraid to say I have but it’s all a work in progress.
    As for this post. How this doesn’t have more engagement I’ll never know cos it’s so well-written and articulated. Keep up thr good work.
    Johnny | Johnny’s Traventures

    • Its Kelle's Space
      September 4, 2018

      Thank you so much for sharing your experiences! I wish more people would speak out because this is a prevalent issue in our society. Social media is sucking the joy out of the lives of so many young people, it’s sad.
      It can definitely push insecurities.
      I remember having to take a brief hiatus from this blog earlier this year because I started comparing myself to other bloggers as well.
      I’m so glad you were able to share your experiences. Thank you once again and keep doing you because you’re doing great.

      • John Aiwone
        September 4, 2018

        Thanks Kelle that means a lot. Yeah social media and mental health definitely needs more awareness. I couldn’t even enjoy blogging anymore. It was soul-sucking and rattling but now slowly I’m beginning to find myself on the platform again and trying to find some middle ground.
        Sadly for a lot of us young people social media is all we know and we don’t know anything else, such is the fact that it’s so integrated into our lives.

        • Its Kelle's Space
          September 4, 2018

          Absolutely. I think a few charities have already looked into this and have found that Instagram is one of the worst social media sites for the mental health of young people.
          I was the same as well. I was just sharing content everywhere and just for the sake of it so I needed a time out.
          It’s very true what you’re saying.
          That’s why I’m glad I had a social media free childhood.

  • David A Fischer
    September 7, 2018

    Thank you for this; a message many need to hear. Be happy with how God made you and stop worrying about measuring up to others. Great post Kelly! 😇❤️

    • Its Kelle's Space
      September 7, 2018

      You’re welcome.
      Yes, exactly.
      We are all made for our own unique purpose and God does hold our destiny in His hands.
      Thank you for reading the post David ❤️

  • David A Fischer
    September 7, 2018

    Reblogged this on There Is Hope! and commented:
    Reblogging this for my peeps. The Enemy will use any tactic to make us feel inferior. Thank you Kellye for this great message!

  • seekingdivineperspective
    September 7, 2018

    In “Vision,” the second book of my trilogy, there’s a meeting of demons who are trying to figure out how to thwart Christian musicians who are having a seminar to equip more musicians, singers, and songwriters to reach the world with their talents. The strategy they come up with is to plant the “great idea” in the mind of one of the planners that they should hold contests…

  • seekingdivineperspective
    September 7, 2018

    (I was actually went to that seminar, and I’ve never been around so many depressed Christians in my life. And yes, the non-winners were called “losers,” albeit with sweet, sympathetic smiles and prayers. >Argh!<)

  • jmshistorycorner
    September 8, 2018

    True thoughts and good advice.

  • Half Glass Full
    October 20, 2018

    Brilliant words!!

  • youonlylivonce19
    October 22, 2018

    I have the problem of comparing myself to my sister. Her life seems perfect to me. She never struggled with depression (she told me this), she fell in love and is happily married, planning on having kids soon, she’s living her dream of making a living off her art, and she’s currently living on an island where she paints murals, goes scuba diving and goes on boat trips. I can’t help but be jealous of her, but I just have to remember we are on very different paths, and I will find my way in my own time. I may not accomplish my dreams as soon as it seems like she did, but in time I will feel fulfilled. Like you said, gratitude is so important. I try to remember this often when I’m feeling down.

    • Its Kelle's Space
      October 22, 2018

      Thank you so much for sharing your story.
      I’m sorry that you feel this way.
      As you said, you are both on your own journeys in life.
      Remind yourself of what is unique about you.
      Do more of what makes you happy in spite of how you feel.
      I know how challenging it can be to make an effort at times but nothing stays the same forever. You will overcome and you will be in possession of the life you want for yourself ❤️

      • youonlylivonce19
        October 22, 2018

        Thanks, I’m actually planning to go live with my sister in Grenada for a few months.

        • Its Kelle's Space
          October 23, 2018

          You’re welcome.
          I hope you have a great time in Grenada.
          Do let me know how you get on.

Sign up to be first to know when there is a brand new post on the site!

5 Things I Have Learnt About Blogging