First dates can be quite daunting. You’re never sure of what to say or what to expect. They are definitely an air of mystery. If you decide to date, you should prepare yourself for anything. So much emphasis is placed on dating in today’s society that nobody really pays attention to the fact that warning signs can rear their head before a meeting has even taken place!
What inspired this post was a tweet I saw a few weeks ago. A young lady was telling a story about the worst date she had ever been on. Before she went into detail regarding the events, she revealed that she wasn’t attracted to the guy who had been pursuing her. A wave of shock came over me. I just couldn’t believe that women are still dating for the sake of ‘dating’ in 2018. Free food, unwanted attention and wasted time will get you nowhere and I’m a big believer in the importance of protecting your energy. Here are some signs that you shouldn’t go on the first date:
A man with no plan – A man without a plan is a big waste of time. Never put yourself in a position where you find yourself out and about and your potential suitor has no idea where they want to take you. It is insulting. If a man has shown interest in you and decided to pursue you, it is HIS (yes, his) job to show you how serious he is about being in your life. As you get to know each other, you’ll both get an idea of what your likes and dislikes are and a guy should be able to use this information to make informed choices. If you’ve been talking for a while and he doesn’t know where you’re going to go, then he’s got to go!
Awkward conversations – This has got to be one of the biggest signs women ignore. In the run up to your date, you’ll obviously be communicating every other day via phone or text. Pay attention to what he says. If he has nothing good to say and spends a lot of time talking about himself, that gives you a glimpse as to what your date would be like. The frequency of communication is also important. If he only gets in touch in the evenings or at weekends, ditch him. This may be an unpopular opinion but communication in the early stages of a relationship should comprise of calls and texts. Solely relying on texts is a huge dealbreaker. There’s something about phone calls that’s very intimate. You definitely get to know who you’re dealing with a lot quicker.
Research and Vibes – These days, it’s very easy to keep up with someone online. I’m not saying you must turn into the FBI, but just keep in mind that your safety comes first in any dating situation. If you are not happy with what you know or if you’re concerned about what you don’t know, then don’t go on the date. Also, pay attention to the vibes you are getting. From personal experience, if I go on a guy’s social media page and 80% of his following are women, I wouldn’t date him. You can get an impression of someone by checking their social media pages or seeing if they’ve been mentioned online. In these times we live in, it’s 100% necessary, so do some research before you commit to a meeting.
Hearsay – Impressions mean everything and if someone you trust has had any kind of encounter with your potential date (or even has some serious tea on them), think about reconsidering. Of course, you have the option to confront your date but at the early stages, it’s definitely a bit extreme. Be vigilant and be cautious. Not everyone is trying to destroy every good thing that comes into your life. Trust that the people who love and care about you will do their best to look out for you.
Compatibility – Do you know the quote ‘ When someone shows you who they are, believe them’? That’s what compatability is in a nutshell. We all have the ability to be ourselves. Even if we put on a facade, it will only be a matter of time before it fades. Actions speak louder than words so if someone is making you feel like you are an option and not a priority, then chances are your gut is serving you right. Compatibility isn’t about you and your date being the same person. It’s about being able to connect, being well suited in addition to having a good amount of chemistry. As a wise person once told me ‘ when you know, you know’.
We are weeks away from a new year and one thing I always will aim to do on this blog is tell it like it is. If you know that you need to change your attitude towards dating and relationships, take action now. Speak to a friend or someone you can trust, watch YT videos (this is one of my favourites), read books. Do whatever you need to do in order to address what may be holding you back. Don’t take dating too seriously, use it as a learning experience. If something great comes out of it, then embrace it, but forcing a connection or an interaction is a huge no no, ladies. Just don’t do it. Let this be your entire mood for 2019:
Your time, space and energy are the most valuable resources you will ever receive on this earth, so use them wisely.
I’d love to hear what your thoughts are on this post. Do you have any pre-date dealbreakers of your own? Please feel free to leave a comment and don’t forget to like and subscribe to my space!