5 Signs You Shouldn’t Go On That First Date

First dates can be quite daunting. You’re never sure of what to say or what to expect. They are definitely an air of mystery. If you decide to date, you should prepare yourself for anything. So much emphasis is placed on dating in today’s society that nobody really pays attention to the fact that warning signs can rear their head before a meeting has even taken place!

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What inspired this post was a tweet I saw a few weeks ago. A young lady was telling a story about the worst date she had ever been on. Before she went into detail regarding the events, she revealed that she wasn’t attracted to the guy who had been pursuing her. A wave of shock came over me. I just couldn’t believe that women are still dating for the sake of ‘dating’ in 2018. Free food, unwanted attention and wasted time will get you nowhere and I’m a big believer in the importance of protecting your energy. Here are some signs that you shouldn’t go on the first date:

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A man with no plan – A man without a plan is a big waste of time. Never put yourself in a position where you find yourself out and about and your potential suitor has no idea where they want to take you. It is insulting. If a man has shown interest in you and decided to pursue you, it is HIS (yes, his) job to show you how serious he is about being in your life. As you get to know each other, you’ll both get an idea of what your likes and dislikes are and a guy should be able to use this information to make informed choices. If you’ve been talking for a while and he doesn’t know where you’re going to go, then he’s got to go!

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Awkward conversations – This has got to be one of the biggest signs women ignore. In the run up to your date, you’ll obviously be communicating every other day via phone or text. Pay attention to what he says. If he has nothing good to say and spends a lot of time talking about himself, that gives you a glimpse as to what your date would be like. The frequency of communication is also important. If he only gets in touch in the evenings or at weekends, ditch him. This may be an unpopular opinion but communication in the early stages of a relationship should comprise of calls and texts. Solely relying on texts is a huge dealbreaker. There’s something about phone calls that’s very intimate. You definitely get to know who you’re dealing with a lot quicker.

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Research and Vibes – These days, it’s very easy to keep up with someone online. I’m not saying you must turn into the FBI, but just keep in mind that your safety comes first in any dating situation. If you are not happy with what you know or if you’re concerned about what you don’t know, then don’t go on the date. Also, pay attention to the vibes you are getting. From personal experience, if I go on a guy’s social media page and 80% of his following are women, I wouldn’t date him. You can get an impression of someone by checking their social media pages or seeing if they’ve been mentioned online. In these times we live in, it’s 100% necessary, so do some research before you commit to a meeting.

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Hearsay –  Impressions mean everything and if someone you trust has had any kind of encounter with your potential date (or even has some serious tea on them), think about reconsidering. Of course, you have the option to confront your date but at the early stages, it’s definitely a bit extreme. Be vigilant and be cautious. Not everyone is trying to destroy every good thing that comes into your life. Trust that the people who love and care about you will do their best to look out for you.

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Compatibility – Do you know the quote ‘ When someone shows you who they are, believe them’? That’s what compatability is in a nutshell. We all have the ability to be ourselves. Even if we put on a facade, it will only be a matter of time before it fades. Actions speak louder than words so if someone is making you feel like you are an option and not a priority, then chances are your gut is serving you right. Compatibility isn’t about you and your date being the same person. It’s about being able to connect, being well suited in addition to having a good amount of chemistry. As a wise person once told me ‘ when you know, you know’.

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We are weeks away from a new year and one thing I always will aim to do on this blog is tell it like it is. If you know that you need to change your attitude towards dating and relationships, take action now. Speak to a friend or someone you can trust, watch YT videos (this is one of my favourites), read books. Do whatever you need to do in order to address what may be holding you back. Don’t take dating too seriously, use it as a learning experience. If something great comes out of it, then embrace it, but forcing a connection or an interaction is a huge no no, ladies. Just don’t do it. Let this be your entire mood for 2019:

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Your time, space and energy are the most valuable resources you will ever receive on this earth, so use them wisely.

I’d love to hear what your thoughts are on this post. Do you have any pre-date dealbreakers of your own? Please feel free to leave a comment and don’t forget to like and subscribe to my space!

Kel xo

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Lessons Women Can Learn From The #FraudBae Story

If you are an avid user of Twitter like I am, then I’m sure you came across the hashtag or trending topic, Fraud Bae and wondered what was going on. Twitter was going crazy when it was revealed that a young lady who goes by the Twitter name @blessed_angell revealed that she was defrauded by a man she was dating. The tea in that thread was something else! I won’t go into details, if you are interested in reading it, click here.

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As a woman, it saddens me when I hear or read stories about women being taken advantage of. In the case of #FraudBae, the victim was lucky to have gotten justice because lots of women do not. Another thing that has been highlighted in this whole fiasco is the importance of paying attention to signs. Signs are ALWAYS there, this can’t be denied. It is up to us whether we ignore them or act on them.

In this post, I’m going to be sharing 10 things that I believe we can all learn from the story of #FraudBae

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Stop giving men money!

Yes, I said it and I’ll say it again, stop giving men money. Takers love to take and they never give. You may think you’re being nice or supportive by providing a man with financial help, but before you know it, you’ll realise most of your paycheck is gone. If a man hasn’t got a sense of order when it comes to his finances, you’ve got to run for the hills. He is not the right man for you. If he tries to charm you into giving him money, run for the hills. If his work situation makes no sense, run for the hills. If a guy is desperate for money, he can ask his friends or his momma. You are not a man’s ATM!

Pay attention to signs

The guy at the centre of this scandal was actually accused of domestic violence on Twitter earlier this year. A user claimed that he had been beating her sister and of course the entire TL was shocked. When #FraudBae started his relationship with his victim, he claimed that he had broken up with his girlfriend, who he later took to Paris on her dime. If a guy tells you he has done something, never ever take his word for it straight away. Do research, watch his body language, look out for changes in his behaviour. A lot of men are pursuing other women while they are in relationships and then telling the other woman that they’ve broken up with the main woman and this is usually a lie. Don’t be a victim.

You can walk away from a date

What puzzled quite a few people was that this guy told his victim that he had left his wallet at home and she’d have to pay for everything he had. Baring in mind that this was probably one of their first dates, this is a huge dealbreaker. If a man is pursuing a woman, he should pay for the first few dates. A man who can actually leave his house without his wallet isn’t a man, he’s an opportunist. If you ever find yourself in a position like this, exercise your right to leave. Just postpone the date.

Look into anyone you’re dating

There is no way such terrible actions can ever be condoned but if you are dating or talking to someone, do your research! Don’t be afraid to check out their social media profiles or anything else you can feast on your eyes on. It’s not being stalker-ish. You owe it to yourself to look out for you. Don’t believe things as soon as they are said to you. Also, pay attention to character. Do their actions match their words? Are they a clear and confident communicator? In the early stages ladies, your job is to sit back and observe.

Trust your gut instinct 

In one tweet, the victim did say that she suspected the perpetrator of having a girlfriend. I cannot stress how important it is to trust your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Again, paying attention to any changes in behaviour will help you out. Can they only meet you on weekends? Has their personality drastically changed? (for better or worse). Your gut will never let you down. If there’s no trust, there is no relationship.

Talk to the people around you

This may be controversial but I do believe to a certain extent, that women who live alone and are prone to useless men and time wasters. I feel like a useless man sees a self sufficient woman as a lottery ticket. All they need to do is get the right numbers, so basically do the right things and then they’ve hit the jackpot. If you’re not going to trust your gut, then try to talk to a few close friends about your relationship. Your friends love, support and encourage you and they should be able to pick up on things that might not be right about your relationship in a constructive manner.

Dating is one of society’s biggest challenges right now. You never know who you’re going to meet and what you’re going to experience. I am a big believer in learning from the experiences of others and I would encourage every other woman who is single to do the same. Remember that it is not your job to fix, help or heal anybody’s son. Open your mind, guard your heart and check out if you feel you are being played.

What did you think about the Fraud Bae scandal? What would you have done if it happened to you? What other lessons do you think women could learn from this story?

Don’t forget to like, comment and subscribe.

Kel xo

 

 

How To Keep Romance Alive In Your Relationship

Contrary to what many may think, being romantic isn’t lame. If you’re like me and you know your love language  , you will have a good understanding of what you expect from a relationship, regardless of the stage it is in. Both parties in a relationship should work up the courage to do sweet things for each other. Never stop showing your partner how much they mean to you, whether you’ve been with them for 1 year or 10 years. In this post, I’ll be sharing 5 ways you can be more romantic in your personal relationships:

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Thoughts do count

There’s nothing wrong letting your partner know that you’re thinking of them. The little things do count and you will definitely see or hear something that reminds you of your significant other. Don’t hesitate to let them know how you feel. If your gestures take energy, time and effort then you are definitely doing the right things.

Surprises 

Don’t be afraid to surprise your partner. Sometimes, things can get a little boring but it’s important to not leave things as they are. Try something new. If you do something that your partner isn’t expecting, your relationship will flourish. Surprise your partner with flowers or have their favourite snack sent to their workplace. Things like this will definitely reignite the spark in your relationship.

Simplicity

Relationships aren’t as expensive as everyone likes to think they are. There are things that you can do with your partner that don’t involve you breaking the bank. A great idea is having a movie night. Cook dinner, have a glass of wine and watch a movie. In the early stages of a relationship, some couples spend time talking about many things. The desire to get to know each other should run deep. We’ve all been through that feeling when you’re getting to know someone new and you think you’ve been talking to them for 20 minutes and it’s actually been 2 hours. You will come to see that spending quality time with each other is just as great as dinner at a fancy restaurant.

Assurance

I’m not saying this because the Nigerian singer Davido put this word on the map (if you know, you know) but assurance is essential in any relationship. I’m not saying you should shower your partner with affirmations 24/7 but if you like their shirt, let them know or if you like their hair, tell your special one how good they look. A simple way to assure your partner is to send that classic ‘Good Morning’ text. We’ve all had a major confidence boost when we wake up to see a message notification.

Remembering anniversaries

Whether you’re sentimental or not, we all remember special milestones in our relationships so why not commemorate them? Plan something special in advance for the big anniversaries and for the little dates, remind your partner of that special day or moment that helped to cement your relationship. This is where communication comes in. If anniversaries mean a lot to you, you’ve got to let your partner know. Don’t expect them to read your mind. Speak up.

Are you a romantic? Do you like being a romantic or do you believe romance is dead?

Do like, comment and subscribe. I love to hear from you all.

If you live in the East Midlands, there are many dating sites in Nottinghamshire. This fabulous Nottinghamshire dating site is perfect if you would like to meet someone special. If you are open to senior dating , there’s also something for you too!

Kel xo

 

How To Keep A New Relationship Exciting

No matter how long you’ve been with your partner or how much you love them, sometimes things can feel a little boring. Relationships require a lot of work and you and your partner will need to work together to spice things up. The honeymoon phase will come to an end and as we become accustomed to our daily routines, it is natural that a relationship will suffer a little. Here are a few tips which may help you keep things interesting:

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Surprise each other

A little spontaneity never hurt anyone, so don’t be afraid to think outside of the box. Stop doing the same things over and over again as this can be a little predictable. Routines can kill a relationship so take it in turns to plan date nights or cook together or even try a new activity.

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Don’t be afraid to flirt from time to time

When we think of flirting, we don’t really associate the term with relationships but the key to keeping your relationship alive may lie in a flirty exchange. I’m not saying flirting will get you and your partner out of every rut but compliment each other from time to time, kiss more and inject some fun back into your relationship. You should never really stop dating your partner, and that goes for men and women. Keep doing the things that attracted you to them in the first place.

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Travel together

Research has actually proven that couples who travel together have stronger relationships. When you feel you’re both happy with your relationship, don’t say no to a little bae-cation. Sometimes a change of scenery can be so refreshing. You don’t even need to get on a plane to do it. Websites such as Wowcher have some really nice cottage breaks. Spa breaks are also a great opportunity to pamper yourselves and just relax.

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Communicate

Nothing can kill a relationship like a lack of communication. It’s so easy to do yet so many of us struggle with it! One of the most important things in a relationship, especially one that is new, is that you are able to communicate freely with each other. You shouldn’t feel like you need to hold back. Spend some time each day indulging in conversation. You don’t need to plan what you’re going to talk about. Sometimes the best conversations are the ones that come naturally.

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Socialise together

Another thing that can help you get the most out of your relationship is socialising. It is important that you and your partner are able to spend time apart but it is essential that you are familiar with the company they keep. Now, I’m not saying their friends need to be your friends but something as simple as hosting a mutual gathering can bring some fun into your relationship.

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Set goals

Last but not least, set some goals. Your partner should be your number 1 fan so work towards things together. Whether it’s going to the gym more often or saving money for a project. Support each other so that your goals can become a reality.

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How do you keep things interesting between you and your partner? As always, I love to hear from you all so feel free to leave a comment and don’t forget to like and subscribe!

If you live in the Hampshire area, then check out this fabulous Hampshire dating site . There are many dating sites in Hampshire, particularly for those who are interested in senior dating.

Kel xo

 

 

How To Stay Positive While Online Dating

Believe it or not, it is possible for dating to drag people down. It can be rough on a person’s self esteem if they are putting in a lot of effort into dating without not getting anything in return. This is why self love is key. No matter how you choose to date, you should always feel empowered  in the dating world. If you want to feel empowered while visiting online dating sites, start focusing on making real connections. Here are some tips that you may find useful:

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Step out of your comfort zone

A wise man once said ‘ Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results’. If you’re not getting what you want out of your online dating experience, then it may be time to try something new. Start saying yes to things you wouldn’t usually say yes to, for example changing the distance settings on your profile. It’s the little things that make the biggest difference and over time, you’ll be able to open yourself up to new experiences. Also, don’t be put off if your first date isn’t a dinner date. Coffee dates are just as great because you can use it as an opportunity to get to know the person that you’re with in a more intimate setting.

Appreciate yourself

Although it’s pretty obvious, you will be surprised at how many people are looking for a partner to compensate for a self love deficit. Before you put yourself out there, be confident with what you are bringing to the table. If this means writing a list about all the things you love about yourself then so be it. Spend some time to reflect on what is good in your life. Be grateful for the life that you have without instantly expecting anything in return. By living in the moment, you’ll be able to see dating as a fun way to get to know people.

Don’t overdo it

In a previous post, I talked about protecting your time and energy when online dating. Not everyone who gives you attention is worthy of your time. Only go on dates with people you know you have chemistry with. Going on a date for the sake of going on a date will feel like a chore. Don’t be like this individual who went on so many dates, she started tracking the potential of her dates on a spreadsheet. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t go on the date. Making empowering decisions will lift your spirits and value what it is you expect from a dating experience.

Listen to an uplifting anthem

…or video, podcast or whatever motivates you. Sometimes, when a dating experience doesn’t go your way, it’s easy to feel down. Instead of indulging in that tub of ice cream, listen to a song that makes you happy or a podcast that lifts your spirits. Listening to something that inspires/motivates you will shift your mindset. Once you’ve got over your rut, hold your head high and put yourself back out there!

The most important thing to remember when dating is to be yourself and everything will fall into place. If you live in the Cheshire area, then check out this lovely Cheshire dating site . There are a lot of dating sites in Cheshire  so if you’d like the chance to meet someone special, then create a profile today.

Are you an online dating optimist or pessimist? How do you stay positive if you’ve had an awkward or bland date? I always love to hear from you so do comment below.

Kel xo

 

Advantages of Online Dating

Experiences with online dating tend to be mixed. Some people have been lucky enough to have excellent dating experiences with people that end in satisfying relationships. Contrary to what people may say, it is possible to date online successfully. Online dating is a lot different than dating traditionally so it’s important to keep an open mind. In this post, I’m going to be talking about some of the advantages of online dating:

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It’s simple

If you decide to try online dating, all you have to do is set up a profile. It’s really that simple. You will also need to write a pretty amazing profile without overselling yourself. Think about how you want to come across and most importantly, the kind of person that you can see yourself with.

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You don’t have to rush

Online dating is pressure free. There’s no rule book that states you must have one date for every day of the week. You can (and you should!) take your time, build a connection and make sure you are happy with what you see and most importantly what you know. Every singleton has a list or partner requirements so as you would with traditional dating, don’t let those standards and expectations slip. Know what it is you want and own it!

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You can be particular

This is one of the great benefits of online dating. As mentioned in the previous point, every single man or woman knows what they are looking for in a partner, whether they take their needs into consideration or not, so don’t be afraid of being picky! The dating pool is right at your fingertips. Decide who you like and who you would like to get in contact with. One thing I would also say is do not be afraid of utilising the block and delete buttons. If there’s just no chemistry or something inappropriate has been said, keep it moving! Don’t dwell on any virtual losses.

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You will have better matches

Dating sites will match you with potential partners in accordance with your compatability. Don’t expect anything amazing to happen overnight – what is meant to be will take time. As long as you’re determined and consistent, you will meet someone you are compatible with. So, unfortunately, that may mean many awkward, conversation-lacking dates before you meet someone you can actually take seriously. That’s just the way the online dating game goes.

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You can put your safety first

Surveys have shown that 86% of women will check out their date on Facebook ahead of their first meeting. It would be very wise to check out your date online if they aren’t on any social media websites. Remember that your safety is the most important thing. If you see anything you are uncomfortable with, don’t hesitate to cancel the date.

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Your confidence will improve

Although it may seem daunting at first, over time your confidence will improve. All you need to do is be yourself. Let any bad experiences go and transform your inner critic into your inner cheerleader. If you don’t focus on what you love about yourself, you will struggle. Put yourself out there and rise to the occasion. If you live in the South West of England, dating sites in Bristol allow you to meet singles in your area and have a relaxed dating experience. Check out this Bristol dating site for more information!

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Have you tried online dating? Did you have a positive experience or will you never date someone you’ve met online? I love to hear from you so feel free to leave a comment below.

Kel xo

 

 

Four Benefits Of Healthy Relationships

Let’s put the ‘men/women are trash’ movements to one side for a moment. As humans, the relationships that we form with others our vital to our emotional wellbeing and our survival. As bold as the latter term may seem, most of us are familiar with Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. We all need to feel like we belong, we thrive on developing intimate relationships in many forms and these kinds of interactions are proven to motivate behaviour. We all need to feel valued from time to time and there’s nothing wrong with that.

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In this post, I’m going to be sharing four benefits of healthy relationships. Before I start, I want you all to remember that healthy relationships breed love, support, encouragement, trust and most importantly respect:

Less Stress

It has been scientifically proven that healthy relationships significantly reduce stress levels. Stress can negatively affect relationships in a variety of ways. Being with someone who makes you happy naturally promotes a sense of inner peace. Emotions are contagious so in order to experience positive emotions, be around positive people. Nobody wants to experience stress in any capacity and couples in healthy relationships are able to resolve their issues in a fair manner. Remember that a relationship should be your safe haven.

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Support During Tough Times

A lot of single people may say that the one thing they miss about being in a relationship is having someone to talk to. There is nothing like coming home from a hard day’s work to the loving arms of an significant other. Emotional support from the person that you love can instantly lift your mood. I’m a firm believer that ‘love is best rooted in friendship’ so you should be able to talk to your partner about anything. We all have our bad moments in life and having a strong source of support is one of the best ways to move forward.

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Personal Growth

Being in the right relationship does create room for personal growth. One of the benefits is that both parties will be encouraging each other to grow and flourish. A supportive partner will want to see you do well and they will be willing to help you in any way. Your partner’s happiness should be yours and vice versa. One of the saddest occurrences in a union is when someone enters a relationship and tones themselves down because their partner is uncomfortable with it. This is why it is important to work on yourself before you allow someone else into the picture. You are looking to be complimented and not completed! This may differ with senior dating because the older you get, the more you may expect.

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Sharing Wonderful Memories

Last but not least, being part of a healthy union allows you to reminisce on all the wonderful times you have had together. This helps especially when things aren’t 100% perfect. It is an effective strategy for happiness in a relationship. Your shared memories might be a vacation you took together or something as simple as an evening when you cooked together and watched a movie. The little things mean a lot so don’t take memories for granted. Plus, the more experiences you’ve shared in your relationship, the more you learn about each other, it’s a lovely process.

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If you are a millenial in the Midlands, who is new to the dating game, check out this Derbyshire Dating Site. There are many dating sites in Derbyshire  so if you are looking to build a special bond with someone, you’ll have access to a number of tools to help you find your perfect match.

What do you think are benefits of a healthy relationship?

Kel xo

 

The Trouble With Dating In 2018

In this post, Josh, a relationship blogger, will be talking about what he believes are the challenges of dating in 2018. Although It’s Kelle’s Space is a blog aimed at women, I think it’s refreshing to have a man’s perspective on the topic of love and relationships. I hope you all enjoy reading this post as much as I did.

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Unrealistic Expectations

One of the biggest dating challenges in this society is unrealistic expectations. I think that a lot of people want to experience the love they see in the movies and on social media and expect it to happen immediately. Some people are almost oblivious to the fact that true love is a process, not an entitlement. You cannot find or maintain great relationships, they are built over time. Unrealistic expectations make finding true love challenging because people are looking for perfection and not suitability or potential.

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Unlimited Options

Dating apps becoming more and more popular, so there’s no denying that people on the dating scene are spoilt for choice. The option to date as many people as you want without having to commit has an instant appeal. All you need to do is swipe right or click ‘like’. The fact that dating has become so trivial is definitely to blame for people feeling entitled, in my opinion. Nobody seems to actually think about what they want first, before they put themselves out there.

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The Wrong Focus

Too much emphasis has been placed on looks or perception, and with the rise of social media, this is only set to get worse. We live in a society that is obsessed with looks. We are constantly told how to maintain our looks and also how to improve things we are not happy about. The world is teaching us that as long as you look great on the outside, you will be fine, but whatever happened to making sure we are beautiful on the inside too? Physical attraction will always fade away so it’s important to seek substance so you can connect with someone beyond a physical level.

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Final thoughts

Finding the relationship of your dreams is possible. What you want does exist! Patience and timing are everything. Also, remember that it’s just as important for you to mirror the qualities/traits you would like in a significant other. Have something to bring to the table. We all go through different seasons in life and this is why it’s important to know what you want. You may be ready to settle but you may get a completely different vibe from the person you are dating.

You can’t hold on to anyone who doesn’t want to be held. Don’t compromise on your self worth and respect just because you want someone to lay next to at night. Actions do speak louder than words, so pay attention to what you see. The eyes don’t deceive. Commit to the person who is on the same level as you and wants the things you want in life and love. Find someone that accepts you the way you are and is willing to build something solid with you. This kind of relationship is truly worth the wait.

Waiting is never easy, whether you are single or dating, so use this period in your life to focus on being the best person you can be so when the time does come for you to settle, you are ready.

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I hope you have enjoyed this post.

You can follow Josh on Twitter.

Josh is also ½ of the Rants and Talks podcast

If you are on Twitter, you can join in the conversation every Sunday at 8pm.

Kel xo

Open Marriages: Do or Don’t?

Once again, the discussion surrounding open marriages has been reignited. Singer Teyana Taylor recently caused controversy when she revealed that she has had threesomes with her basketball player husband, Iman Shumpert. The relevation was made on a song from her new album, K.T.S.E, titled ‘3Way’. As a avid user of Twitter, I couldn’t help but read the tweets in response to this revelation. While many users seemed to disagree with what Taylor defines as a ‘no limits’ marriage, some people embraced the idea of having an open marriage as a whole.

This post is a collaboration with fellow blogger and v-logger Wini Boansi. We both have different views on the subject of an open marriage.

I DISAGREE with the idea of an open marriage and I will tell you why…

Marriage is a sacred union involving two people, and when God created marriage, that’s what exactly He intended it to be. Two people come together, celebrate their love and promise to honour each other until death parts them. That’s what marriage is. Marriage is challenging enough with two people in it, so can you imagine the impending disaster that would inevitably come from adding a third person into the mix? In her explosive 1995 interview with Panaroma, Princess Diana, when asked about the breakdown of her marriage to Prince Charles, said ‘ Well, there were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded’. There’s no denying that monogamy is the foundation of a successful marriage. Once one person has been unfaithful, the whole relationship is immediately in jeopardy. While some couples may be able to pull off having an open marriage, there’s no denying it is a high risk proposition.

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Love and commitment should be the foundation of any relationship, whether it’s a  partnership or a marriage. A lack of trust is like a broken mirror, it can be fixed but you can still see the cracks. Despite the difficulties of marriage, it has stood the test of time. There are many wonderful examples of couples who have made it work, so why is marriage being redefined? In my opinion, an open marriage is a free pass to cheat. It is a selfish decision which is usually enforced by one party, as they relish the opportunity to do who and what they please. Due to external influences such as social media, our moral climate is shifting, but please, let’s not act like marriage is whatever we want to make it.

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Wini Boansi AGREES with the idea of an open marriage and she explains why…

When people live their lives differently to ours, everyone goes into attack mode. Sexual liberation has almost become a phenomenon in our society. Women are definitely able to live their lives and do as they please with their bodies, however, when a woman comes out to say that her and her husband have an open marriage and they are happy, all of a sudden our support for women’s rights to make their own decisions go out of the window. The comedian Mo’Nique was criticised when she revealed she was in an open marriage.

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I can understand why some people detest the idea of an open marriage, however restricting the liberation of others is closed minded in a sense. It really isn’t our business how couples chose to spice up their marriages. Marriage is all about love, respect, understanding and building a life with the partner of your choice. If that couple fulfils all of the mentioned traits and they have a mutual agreement that allows them to have sexual relations with others, what is the problem?

Clearly their marriage and sexual choices were discussed prior to marriage, and both parties are comfortable with this set up. If this wasn’t the case, then I could understand where the uproar is coming from. In other words, if you were not keen on the idea of an open marriage, then you simply wouldn’t marry someone that wanted one, right?

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Some people pick and chose which openly married couple they want to be outraged about. Age does not matter, when it comes to being in an open relationship. We all have different sexual desires that need catering to. The most important thing is that openly married couples practice safe and consensual sex. Open marriages were a thing in the past and we should understand that everyone’s idea of what a marriage should be like will be different. What’s to say that openly married couples aren’t 100% happy with their situation? An open marriage celebrates sexual liberation while still allowing a loving couple to be united. If this does become the new norm in marriage then who are we to judge?

Thanks for reading this post. As always, I love to hear from the readers of It’s Kelle’s Space. What are your views on open marriage? Would you have an open marriage? Or do you think the whole idea is a no no?

I asked my Twitter followers what they thought in a poll and this is the result so far:

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Kel xo