How To Manage PMS And Feel Better Instantly

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PMS is something that I’m sure every young woman would love to live without. Defined as the physical and emotional symptoms that occur in the one to two weeks before a woman’s period, PMS causes nothing but destruction. However, when managed well, PMS can be simple to control. In this post, I’m going to be sharing some tips on how to handle PMS like a boss with you all:

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Regulate your breathing – PMS can really take its toll on the body and sometimes it’s arrival is unexpected. Whenever you feel yourself having a hot flush or just being overwhelmed, acknowledge your emotions and just breathe. Don’t worry about taking big, deep breaths because even little ones will do. Regulating your breathing will also help to slow your heart rate down which will ultimately stop hot flushes in their tracks.

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Ventilation is necessary – When I have PMS, I open a window at least twice a day. Sometimes, rooms feel muggy the minute I walk into them. Can anyone relate? Also, try not to stay indoors all day. Take small breaks where you can go for a walk outside and get some air. It will make you feel 100 times better.

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Use natural remedies – Personally, I choose not to have a heavy reliance on painkillers during PMS or my period but every woman’s experience is different so do what works for you. If I need to, I may take a paracetamol a day or two before my period arrives because that’s when I feel the symptoms the most. Something I do that works very well for me is drink chamomile tea in the evenings. Chamomile tea is great for relieving feelings of nausea. Also, I’ve heard about the benefits of maca so I’ve bought a maca latte which I’ll definitely be trying out at some point this month. Here is an article about the type of foods you should be eating in the run up to your period.

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Say no to alcohol – Did you know that alcohol actually makes PMS a whole lot worse? So in the week or two before your period, try to embark on a little detox. If you must drink, maybe opt for a simple cocktail. Red wine has been said to alleviate cramps but there isn’t really any research to back up this claim so approach any alcohol with caution during PMS.

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Track your cycle with an app – Here are some period tracking apps you can use. Period tracking apps are really useful because you are able to get a better understanding of your moods etc. Have you ever had one of those days where you are so emotional and you can’t figure out why and then within hours, you’ve started your period? We all have and apps will provide you with a sense of self control. I’m a big advocate for women in their 20’s monitoring their cycles month after month because if there is an issue such as irregularity in your periods, you’ll most likely need to be referred to a gyno.

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Drink water – One symptom I experience more than most is that I feel very thirsty when I’m PMSing. I can drink 4-5 bottles of water a day because I feel like my body is telling me I don’t have enough water in me. Also, if you (like me) experience dizzy spells, hot flushes or any of that lovely stuff, cold water will help regulate your body temperature. In addition to this, water has so many other health benefits so just pay very close attention to your hydration levels.

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Focus on your energy – PMS comes with so many changes and you probably won’t feel like yourself for a few days so eat foods that give you an extra energy boost such as oats, berries and oily fish. The list is endless. The symptoms won’t disappear entirely but you’ll feel a lot more happier. Comfort is such an important part of having a peaceful period. I went to Stylist Live late last year, and a lady was talking about periods and how they don’t actually need to be painful experiences so this definitely gave me some food for thought.

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Honour your body – During PMS, you want to do your best to reduce your stress levels. Stress can make PMS such an uncomfortable experience so take it easy. Give yourself enough time to get ready when you pop out, exercise when you feel you are ready. There are little changes you can make to ease the whole experience. Something that is important to remember is that during the time of the month, a woman’s iron levels can take a huge hit. You won’t be as strong as you are during the rest of the month. Why do you think some countries in Europe give women leave when they are on their period? Although brief, it is quite a challenging occurrence in a woman’s life.

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That’s all from me. I hope that these tips will help you as you embark on dealing with PMS like a boss. If you do have any questions or you’d like to leave a comment, please do so below. Do like and subscribe to Its Kelle’s Space.

Kel xo

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5 Powerful Lessons Therapy Taught Me That I Couldn’t Have Taught Myself

The first time I walked into a counsellor’s office, I was just fifteen years old. As I approached my mid-teens, I found myself being in a constant state of unhappiness. I wasn’t sure of what to expect but I knew that I needed to deal with some of the issues in my life at that moment in time. Society is constantly telling us to deal with issues on our own. Remember the time when people who went to therapy were seen as mad? Thank the Lord that it isn’t as stigmatised as it used to be.

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I spent most of my 20’s trying to run away from my problems. I wasn’t able to really think for myself. Hundreds (if not thousands) of thoughts were running through my mind per minute and when I discovered my anxiety and depression had return for the second time in just two years, I knew I couldn’t manage on my own.

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The reason why I’m telling my story is because I believe that I wasn’t alone in my feelings. I am sure that a lot of you can relate to experiencing terrible moods. Thankfully, therapy was beneficial as I embarked on the road to recovery. There were so many lessons that I was able to take away and I am going to share five of them all with you now:

I was able to open up about things I couldn’t share with anyone else

If you decide to go to therapy, you’ve got to prepare yourself for discomfort. I remember one of my first experiences vividly. I was trying so hard to be strong and I convinced myself that I would leave my session with my mascara in tact. Once you have gotten over your discomfort, you should be able to build a rapport with your therapist. Remember that their goal is to help you become the best person you can be. Sharing intimate details of your life with anybody takes an enormous amount of coverage so don’t feel like you have to put yourself out there all at once.

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I was able to identify behavioural patterns 

Honesty is the best form of self care. Self care isn’t just about going to get your nails done once in a while. You’ve got to check in with yourself on the inside too. In order to identify any patterns in your behaviour or any toxic behaviours, you have to take in what you may be told. Naturally, when someone tells you something that you don’t agree with, defending yourself is probably your first thought. Before you strike, think about the scenario or story in question. Think about what the experience(s) taught you and whether you’d do anything differently. Evaluating behavioural choices is a good form of self-reflection.

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I was able to get to know myself better 

Have you ever sat down and asked yourself ‘Who am I?’ or ‘What’s my purpose?’.            We have all experienced a rut or two at some point in our lives. Therapy helps you to get a better understanding of your strengths and weaknesses. One of my biggest weaknesses is not celebrating achievements as much as I should. After seeing a therapist, I was able to appreciate my good qualities as well as what makes me authentic. A totally different mindset came upon me and I felt much more relaxed as each session went by.

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I was able to understand the difference between prevention and choice 

Emotions are usually at an all time high before someone decides to see a therapist. I remember going through my difficult period towards the end of last year and there were moments when I’d be uncontrollably sad. I felt like my soul had been crippled by shame every time I talked to my therapist about what had happened. She told me I had nothing to be ashamed about and she explained that there are some things in life that are just beyond your control. There’s a difference between prevention and choice. Understanding this will make your life so much easier.

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I was able to understand other people too 

The end of my previous relationship was difficult to deal with. Although the end had been looming for a while, making the decision to end the relationship was still hard. It’s amazing how an experience with one person can make you determine to understand other people too. It took me years to realise that I have a tendency to fix, heal and change people. The idea that I was always doing way too much than I should became a reality. Ultimately, I came to the understanding that all relationships are beautiful and they should be mutually fulfilling.

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I think the most important thing to remember is that therapy is a form of self development. I can only speak for my own experiences but if you are suffering from some kind of trauma or personal difficulty, you may want to consider speaking to a therapist. We all need an outlet. Every step you take towards being a better you is always worth it in the end.

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This is a very sensitive topic so I understand if you are reluctant to share your own therapy experiences but if you would like to, then do leave a comment.

If you are considering therapy and you’d like to ask a question, feel free to leave a comment.

Kel xo

 

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The Pre Wedding Checklist Every Bride Needs

In my first post of 2019, I’m going to be talking weddings! The festive season is one time of year when proposals are at their peak, so I have collated this pre wedding checklist for all the brides to be. Whether you’ve just started planning or you are months away from your big day, this checklist is sure to come in handy.

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Choose the right venue – Looking for the right venue is such an important part of wedding planning. Factors such as location, price and features/benefits should definitely be considered. Prior to visiting venues, definitely do some research. Also, be sure to have a discussion with your fiance about what it is you both want. Visiting a potential venue alone is a no-no. Take someone whose opinion you trust with you. Ask as much questions as you can and make sure you have read the contract/guidelines carefully before you sign on the dotted line. For more information about wedding venues, click here

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Find the MUA of your dreams – One of the finest details of any big day is the bride’s choice of make up artist. Make-up artists can make or break a wedding day. Most MUA’s offer trials to brides and this is always helpful when making your choice. Skill is everything and remember that you are the customer, so if you don’t feel like the most beautiful woman in the world with your face on then you probably shouldn’t choose that MUA. Also, if you would like your bridal party to get their make-up done as well then enquire about group discounts.

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Searching for the perfect wedding dress – As with looking for the perfect venue, you shouldn’t go wedding dress shopping alone. Going to a number of shops is essential and be prepared to receive opinions and to possibly get a few alterations done too. Wedding dress shopping can be a very stressful experience as there’ll be so much pressure on you to ensure everything is perfect. Don’t feel like you have to get a dress on the same day. Create an inspiration board by searching for pictures of dresses that you like and then take it from there. Negotiate discounts if you can and most importantly, if you are arranging for your dress to be delivered, do be sure that it arrives on time.

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Decide on the guest list – One of the most drama filled parts of any wedding planning process is deciding on who should attend your wedding. Sit down with your fiance and make a list of all the people you know. The cost of weddings increases year by year and the reality is, that there are just some people who won’t make the cut. Smaller weddings are now more popular than ever and with Brexit on the way, it’s no surprise. Also, try not to give into pressure from friends and family members because you are responsible for feeding every single person who is present. If you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it.

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These are just some of the things that should be on every bride’s checklist. I haven’t covered everything but I hope I have given all the brides to be out there an idea of what to expect when planning your wedding.

Are you a bride to be? Or have you recently said ‘I do’? What was the easiest part about planning the day? What did you find most challenging?

I love to hear from you all so don’t hesitate to leave a comment and do like and subscribe to Its Kelle’s Space.

Kel xo

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Its Kelle’s Space’s Top 10 of 2018

The past year has been a great one, a reflective one. I can’t believe it has been a year since I launched Its Kelle’s Space. Some of you may know that I started my first blog in 2011 and then left the bloggersphere for a while, but it feels so good to be back. One thing I knew is that I wanted my next blog to be different from Fashion, Love and Life.      I wanted a platform where I could educate, inspire and empower women to be great. Over the past 12 months, I hope I have inspired you all in one way or another.

Here’s a quick recap of what you loved most on Its Kelle’s Space:

Revlon Super Lustrous Lipstick Review – This was the first ever product review I did on the blog and I had no idea how popular it would be over the past year. Revlon have done a lot to channel diversity in their campaigns and through their product offerings, so I was glad to let you know what I thought about these wonderful lippies.

Revlon Colorstay Brow Mousse and Brow Pencil Review – And another one *DJ Khaled voice* – I reviewed these brow products from Revlon back in January. Brows are definitely a struggle and I think that the fact there are so many new brow products in the market doesn’t make it easy as well. Sometimes, all you need is a pencil, a little bit of mousse and you are good to go!

10 Things You Can Do To Reinvent Yourself After A Break Up – In this post, I teamed up with the lovely Wini Boansi to discuss getting your groove back. Break ups are so hard and at the time we teamed up on this post, I was still struggling with break up trauma so the fact that so many of you were able to relate was heartwarming.

Topshop Limited Edition Mini Lip Bullet Trio Review – It’s another review! (I think you guys are trying to tell me something). I received these adorable lip bullet trios from Topshop and I just had to let you all know what I thought about them. If anyone from Topshop does happen to read this, please introduce some more colours to the collection.

Signs It’s Time To End A Relationship – Dealbreakers! In 2018, I think everyone had to re-evaluate their expectations, boundaries and everything in between. In this post, I talk about signs it is time to walk away. Women especially tend to ignore red flags in the hope that things will change but the reality is that they never do. I’m glad I was able to share such a powerful message with you all.

MPW Steakhouse Bar and Grill Review  – This was the start of a change for Its Kelle’s Space. I decided to branch out into food reviews. I had the pleasure of going to Marco Pierre White’s restaurant in Folkestone in Kent. It is such a beautiful town. It’s a shame my cousin and I didn’t go on a sunny day but as you can see in the review, the food was the biggest highlight.

Juvia’s Place The Saharan II Palette Review – There isn’t an article about makeup for WoC that doesn’t mention Juvia’s Place. Investing in their Saharan II palette was something I had always wanted to do. The colours are so rich, so pigmented and they look amazing on darker skin.

Superdrug Vitamin C Review – Vitamin C has had a few moments this year. If Vitamin C isn’t a part of your skincare routine, you are missing out! I reviewed this serum from Superdrug a few months ago and I used the opportunity to drop a few gems about the benefits of Vitamin C on the skin. I will be reviewing another serum early next year (and yes, one of the ingredients is Vitamin C).

Lessons Women Can Learn From The #FraudBae Story – We all know what we were doing when the Fraud Bae thread started to ignite conversation on the Twitter timeline. Although the events were entertaining, this story opened a lot of women’s eyes to the fact that it is very easy for a man to take advantage. I think the biggest lesson to all women from this story is to get your standards in check and DO NOT lower them for anyone or anything!

Open Marriages: Do or Don’t –  This post was another collaboration with Wini Boansi, who is a YouTuber. The funny thing about Open Marriages was when I promoted this post on Twitter, one user criticised my choice of words and Wini also had to step in because she also got some of the heat. After that, I was so close to deleting the post but I reminded myself that we all come from different walks of life so our viewpoints won’t be the same. Some of you may remember that Wini was for open marriages and I was against them. The moral of this post is that it is possible for two people to have different views without ripping each others heads off. I hope to see more of that kind of energy in 2019.

What was your favourite post on Its Kelle’s Space and why?

Kel xo

 

 

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15+ Goals To Set In 2019: Here’s Some Inspiration From UK Bloggers

The word ‘resolution’ doesn’t really sit well with me and that’s because of its affiliation with the New Year. Towards the end of the year, we vow that we are going to implement some extraordinary changes into our lives such as going to the gym six times a week, giving up on chocolate or going to bed before a lot earlier and it just never really pans out the way we want, does it? Goals are a lot healthier than resolutions because they are realistic. Once you’ve set a goal, you constantly work towards it. You lean on others for encouragement and most importantly, there is no deadline.

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In 2019, let’s not be strangers to pace. Being patient with ourselves is so important. We are human and there are times where we won’t be very motivated but optimism is key. After all, as a wise man once said, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve teamed up with a few bloggers to share their goals for 2019. I will also be sharing mine at the end along with a New Year meditation. I hope you enjoy this post and I hope it inspires you all to be your best self and to live your best life:

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Abbey from Life and Relationship Issues:

I would love to work on living my best life yet, good mental wellbeing and focus more on self development.

Charlotte from Memoirs and Musings:

Lose my baby weight (aka all the unnecessary weight I’ve put on since I was a baby), keep travelling, start my brand and STACK MONEY.

Abbey from Abbey Louisa Rose:

My New Year’s resolution is to plan some more solo travel trips! I started solo travelling in 2017 and it was such a fantastic experience, it did wonders for my confidence and I’d recommend it to anyone! I’d love to go to Rome so that’s definitely on my 2019 bucket list 😀

Amy from All About A Mummy:

Hi, my resolution is to bring more of my voice into my writing. This is something I have started thinking about this year but I want to push further. To feature more opinion pieces, to be more passionate and feel confident the blog is a true reflection of my thoughts, values and opinions.

Emily at Hippie In Lippy:

Mine is to focus on my growth.
To grow my confidence and self worth.
Believe in myself and my abilities.

Amy at She’s So Wilsy:

My goal is to stop over thinking! What ultimately holds me back from reaching my goals is wanting things to be perfect straight away. Instead of spending endless time researching, thinking, analysing and googling (and procrastinating)… just do it!! Because if you don’t than how much am I really achieving you’re not achieving.

Sometimes good enough is good enough! I’m gonna start doing mini-goals to help me with this. Its literally just having a goal in mind and seeing how you can break that goal into something even smaller. That way it’ll be easier and quicker to do and because it’s more achievable, that will make them more motivational.

Sarah at The S Road:

My goal this year is to do a solo motorbike trip in Europe. I have a weekend in Wales planned already but I’d love to ride around the alps or ride to the French coast on two wheels. I unfortunately missed out on doing a trip in 2018 as I broke my foot so I have a bit of catching up to do!

Victoria at Married Meeples:

My goal is to start a business around my hobby (graphics design) to bring in some much needed extra cash. In 2018, I was hoping that hobby would be blogging but it turned out much harder than I thought!

Victoria at Travel Vixta:

My goal for 2019 is financial – to save an emergency fund. Being self employed I always panic about money and get anxious every month until I know my earnings are enough for that month. To ease this I want to save a substantial emergency fund so I have some security and don’t have to worry every month. I’m hoping to be better at budgeting and spending less in 2019.

Lauren at My Lavender Tinted World:

One of my goals for 2019 is to have my book published. I’m working on the 2nd draft and think I should be shown to self-publish before this time next year.

Gemma at Yorkshire Mum of 4:

My life goal is to complete my AAT in accounts and my blogging goals are to reach 20k following on socials in 2019. 

Natalie at Couch To Runner:

I want to run 1000 miles next year, run a sub-2:30 half marathon and a sub-5:30 full marathon. Along the way I’d also like to improve my 10k time to sub-65.

Kate at Hitchens’ Kitchen:

I’m going to put more of my yummy healthy baby and kids recipes on my blog! I spend so much time planning and making I haven’t got round to putting them up yet but that’s the plan for 2019, at least one a week so I’ve got 52 by 2020!

Matt at Pages of Knowledge:

I currently have a list of 45 personal/business goals for 2019 (which I will be reviewing throughout the year via Monthly Goal Reports on the blog). 2019 is all about Assets. A couple of them are; to write & self publish 8 books on kindle by 31st Dec. Write & publish a minimum of 50 Blog posts by 31st Dec. Spend quality time with Friends & Family to relax & create memories.

Emma at Bee Money Savvy:

My 2019 is to start enjoying myself. In 2018 I found that by wanting to always do better I was forgetting to actually enjoy the good things that I’ve achieved.

Louise at Louise Alexa Sharp:

I achieved all my goals this year. Everything I wanted to achieve, I did. And I feel a bit underwhelmed. So this year, I’m not setting any goals. I’m just going to blog completely as myself. Write about what I want, in the style I want, without caring who reads it, or what anyone else thinks. Maybe my goal for 2019 is to feel more liberated.

Daisy from Daisarella:

My goal is to be the most confident I’ve ever been, and that will be through changing my diet and overall lifestyle.

Laura at Pounds from Pennies:

My goal for 2019 is to get my finances in check and learn more about money other than spending it! I’ve started a blog to document my journey and hopefully help others over at poundsfrompennies.com when looking for personal finance blogs to follow the majority are mums or the ‘debt’ they’re paying off is student loans or mortgages which isn’t my circumstances. So I’m trying to relate to any 20 something who’s spent their money on holidays and adventures and came back to reality with a bang!

First and foremost, I would like to thank all of the bloggers mentioned for sharing their goals. I hope you achieve them all in 2019 and I wish you a very happy New Year.

My goals for 2019 are (in no particular order):

Travel more

Save more money

Focus on my career

Exercise regularly (with consistency)

Meditate regularly (again with consistency)

Maintaining relationships with friends and family

Branch into content writing and start creating content for well known brands within my niche

Possibly start dating again (it’s not by force so I’ll just play it by ear)

Identifying a niche for IKS and possibly creating a lifestyle brand

Educating myself (so networking, attending seminars, listening to podcasts etc)

Stay committed to self care (in all forms)

Goals can always be refined or expanded on over time, so as I mentioned before don’t beat yourself up if you fall off, just remind yourself of how far you have come and be consistent! Here is a New Year meditation I found a few days ago on YT.

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank you all for your commitment to keeping up with Its Kelle’s Space. Your likes, comments and follows mean so much to me. Please feel free to comment with your own 2019 goals or if you were inspired by any of the ones that were shared, let me know!

Happy New Year! Here’s to a peaceful and prosperous 2019!

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Kel xo

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Sleek Hair Spotlight Wig Review

In this post, I will be reviewing the Sleek Spotlight Lace Parting Wig in the style ‘Bianca’.

I’ve always been a fan of Sleek’s makeup range. In the picture below, I’ve used their Contour and Highlight Kit in Dark. I decided to use the highlight shade as an eyeshadow and interestingly enough, it really compliments my skin tone. In my time, I think I’ve only bought one synthetic wig from Sleek but I was really interested in this style because of the colour, length and the tightness of the curls.

It has been a while since I have done a product review on the blog so I thought why not review one of my favourite wigs? I bought it a few weeks ago so I feel like now is a great time to let you know what I think about this addition to the Spotlight Luxurious Wigs collection.

As far as the packaging is concerned, Sleek didn’t disappoint at all. The wig came in a beautiful sky blue box which was quite large in size so I wasn’t worried about the wig being compressed or anything which is a bonus. Have you ever bought a wig or had it made only for it to spend a day or so on a wig head so that it should flatten out a little? I have and I don’t want to do it again so I was pleased that the box was so spacious.

The wig comes with a middle parting (as shown on the display wig) in the shop so all I needed to do was apply some concealer (or foundation) on it and I was good to go. Customers are advised that they can widen the parting if they want but I don’t feel it is necessary because if widening partings isn’t your thing, you could take it a step too far. For me, the parting was fine as it was. It’s shocking how many wigs without clear partings are still being sold in 2018. My advice is if the parting isn’t visible or clear enough to work with then don’t invest in the wig! If you are brave enough to toy around with your parting then use a Twinkie and handle the hair with care.

Another thing I like about this wig is the quality. On the packaging it is defined as 100% superior synthetic hair. It doesn’t shed as much as other synthetic wigs I’ve owned. Also, there are two clips at the side (inside the wig) and one at the back so it’s 100% secure. If I could give one piece of advice to whoever is interested in this gorgeous hair, I’d say DO NOT brush it. With curly synthetic styles, just run your fingers through the hair (paying a little more attention to the back) and spray it with some sheen no more than twice a week. If you brush out a curly synthetic style, the curl pattern will not return. You can use the world’s best curling iron and still, the hair will not shake, so don’t do it to yourself.

I’ve been wearing synthetic wigs for a while now and I lean towards more premium quality hair. I think that there is still a lot of stigma surrounding the maintenance of synthetic hair. The most important thing to remember with synthetic hair is that it just doesn’t mix with oil (no matter how amazing the quality is). The hair can tangle in a very quick amount of time and once this has happened, it’s chances of recovery are very slim.

The colour I decided to go for was TT1B/30. I’m guilty as charged when it comes to not experimenting with my hair. I always play it safe with colour 1B’s/2’s and I think I’ve had enough. I like dark blondes, browns and reds so I’m going to try and embrace these colours when it comes to my hairstyles in 2019.

Keep all maintenance simple and the wig will last. In regards to tonging the hair, the claim made my Sleek is that the hair is tongable at 200 degrees of heat. Do play it safe. With previous synthetic wigs I have owned, I’ve always started with 150 degrees first and then observed how the hair reacts to this. I haven’t been bold enough to tong at 200 degrees yet, I’ve stuck to 180 degrees max and it’s working just fine for me.

The only restriction with this wig is that there is one middle parting, however, the wig can be moved to the side if you would like. However, the wig looks better styled in the middle. In terms of price, the wig is £39.99 which is a pretty normal price for synthetic hair. As mentioned earlier, a large factor in the duration of synthetic wigs is maintenance. Less is definitely more.

The Sleek Spotlight Wig in the style ‘Bianca’ is priced at £39.99. If you would like to find out more about this style, then click here.

If there is anything else you’d like to know about this hair or synthetic wigs in general, then please feel free to leave a comment below.

Also, let me know what your thoughts on this post are and if you’d like me to do some more hair reviews on the blog.

Don’t forget to tell your friends about my space and also to like, comment and subscribe!

Kel xo

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Its Kelle’s Space – One Year On…

Hey everyone!

Now some of you may or may not know that Its Kelle’s Space is one year old already! Time has flown by so quickly. Thank you for all of the likes, comments, shares, retweets. You all are so amazing and it’s because of you guys that I can continue to express myself using this platform.

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We are days away from a brand new year and I would like to know exactly what you think of Its Kelle’s Space. I would appreciate if you could take just two minutes of your time to fill out this survey:

Its Kelle’s Space Survey

Please be as honest as you can and thank you in advance.

Also, feel free to give detailed feedback if you wish by leaving a comment on this post or you can tweet me.

I’d like to wish you all a joyous and prosperous New Year.

Kel xo

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Dear 2018: Thank You, Next

What a year 2018 has been! Am I the only one who can’t believe how time has just flown by?! When I look back and reflect, I definitely didn’t think I would be where I am now. One Twitter user asked people to share life lessons they had learnt this year and I couldn’t help but share a few pearls of wisdom.

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These pearls of wisdom are the focus of this post. So I will be elaborating on each lesson learnt and how I believe it has helped to make me become a better person. As always, I encourage you to get involved and share your own lessons from 2018 and of course, your hopes for 2019!

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Lesson 1  – I am stronger than I thought I was 

My faith and my entire existence has been tested so much this year. You know what they say about things coming in three’s? Well, that’s exactly what happened to me. I won’t go into too much detail but it all started the day after I came back from Venice. Never have I had a holiday glow disappear so quickly! At the time, I actually believed the three trials I experienced had come to destroy me and staying positive was incredibly hard. One day, I came across a quote by Maya Angelou which said ‘ You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated‘ and I was able to relate.

I’ve stared defeat in the face so many times and for those of you who have struggled with mental health problems like I have, the temptation to just give up often rears it’s head. Thankfully, I was able to overcome the difficult season in my life. It doesn’t mean that I am immune from tough times but I was surprised by my strength, my resilience and the power I had to accept what was happening and also to strive to make things better for myself.

Lesson 2 – It’s OK not to be OK

In 2018, the stigma around mental health significantly reduced. People are a lot more open about their struggles, myself included. Tuning in with your mood is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Just be honest, be your own best friend. If you are having a bad day, acknowledge it. If a negative mood is consistent, you may need to speak to a friend or go to your GP. Self care isn’t just about eating great food and having spa days, it’s about taking proper care of you.

Every single person on this earth has a bad day, so when you’re feeling down don’t alienate yourself from your emotions. Going to therapy for the second time in two years made me feel so ashamed. I spent many nights crying my eyes out and thinking about people who I felt would need therapy more than me. I remember telling my therapist that I shouldn’t be sat in front of her because I never used to feel down or depressed. I remember being the bubbliest person in the world but reality is that as you get older, life comes at you fast so open up, talk to people you trust and work towards having a better, healthier outlook on life.

Lesson 3  – Live your best life

This year for me has been all about experiences. Whether it’s holidays, concerts, nights out with friends: I really have lived in 2018! It’s amazing how one trip to Amsterdam made me want to travel more. I have had the pleasure of going to Berlin, Prague, Paris and Venice this year. A goal of mine for 2019 is definitely to travel more as I have a few destinations in mind. I definitely want to go back to Paris again as I just had so much fun and it was my first solo trip. A friend of mine said there was no way I could travel solo and I saw that as a challenge and then booked Paris. When the train was leaving St Pancras, I started to well up a little because I realised what I was about to do but you know what? I’d do it all over again if I could.

When it comes to living the life that you want, don’t have a heavy reliance on others. Maintain your friendships but don’t let anyone stop you from doing what you want to do. Take yourself out to eat, visit another town for a day, go to the movies by yourself. Enjoying your own company does not mean you are lonely. You learn a lot about yourself when you experience different things. Plan things in advance and also try to do something that you’ve never done before. Personally, I hate being outside of my comfort zone but once I’ve done new things, I feel really good after. Some of you may be able to relate.

Lesson 4  – Sometimes, no matter how hard you want to hold on, you’ve just got to cut certain people off

Why is it that whenever you appear to have your s*** together, someone from your past decides to try to make a reappearance into your life? There are probably so many answers to that question which I’m not going to go into now but it is a thing. People from your past can smell progression and happiness and all those lovely things, so they decide to come running back. I love to give people the benefit of the doubt but one day, I had to take a good, hard look at myself in the mirror and just admit that I need to let go of certain relationships in my life. Having people who are no good in your life can seriously disturb your aura.

Strangely enough, when I became single, I came to the realisation that certain relationships in your life can drain your energy if you are not careful. You need to discern which ones do. Forcing relationships is something I have refused to do in 2018. Time also doesn’t determine the quality of a personal relationship, this is another lesson I have learned. Sometimes, cutting people off is just the right thing to do. Cutting people off isn’t about proving a point. It is about acceptance. Acceptance is just about seeing things as they are and moving forward with grace.Evaluating all relationships in my life has now become something I do on a regular basis. If something or someone just isn’t adding value to my life, they have got to go.

Lesson 5  – Don’t rely on the validation of others when it comes to being your true self. BE authentic, BE you!

Seeking validation is the most exhausting sport anyone can engage in. Trying to be everything to everyone will never bring you the joy you desire. As I sat in conversation with my therapist, we talked about seeking approval from others. It is funny how most of our less than perfect traits can be linked back to our childhoods and I do remember a few events where I was made to feel like I had to be a certain person in order to be accepted.

Addressing this in therapy was one of the best things I ever did for myself. Knowing who you are and developing a sense of self worth will take you far. You are valued, you are important and you are loved and you should never forget this. Hold on to that truth and don’t let anyone tell you anything different. If you live off the approval of others, you can never be your authentic self. Something will always hold you back and your confidence will take a hit. Understand why you seek approval and find a way to change your perception of yourself.

I know this post has been a lengthy one but 2018 has been a very eventful year. Here’s to a fantastic 2019.

What are some of the life lessons you have learnt in 2018?

I always love to hear from you all so do like, comment and subscribe.

Kel xo

Its Kelle's Space7 Comments

Signs It’s Time To Leave Your Church

2018 has been a very testing year for religion as a whole. It seems like no one can turn a corner without hearing something controversial about a religious establishment. Research has also found (on countless occasions) that millennials are leaving the church in droves. Even established church groups have confessed that retaining young people has been a challenge in recent years. I think this post is well overdue, especially during a time where the importance of self care has been extremely magnified. Self care isn’t just about your emotional, mental and physical wellbeing. It’s about your spiritual wellbeing as well. Adopting and maintaining a peaceful spirit is the key to living the best life you can.

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This year, my spiritual wellbeing was in jeopardy. I had gone from praising God on a weekly basis to not going to church at all. During my three month hiatus, I didn’t turn away from God. I used the time to read devotionals, pray and meditate and honestly, I feel a whole lot better than I did when I was attending Sunday services. Eventually, I made the decision to find a new church as there was something that just wasn’t quite right. In this post, I’m going to share these signs with you all:

It feels like a chore – We have 24 hours in a day and there are 7 days in a week. A church service takes up no more than 2 hours of your time (ideally), so if you feel like you really can’t be bothered to go on many occasions, then this may be a sign that you aren’t being spiritually feed. Have a talk with yourself to determine what your issues are and don’t forget that you can talk to someone that you trust as well. Church should never feel like a drag. You should be excited to be in the company of other Christians.

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The message goes over your head week after week – Sermons are the most pivotal part of any church service and any message delivered must be understood otherwise what’s the point? A powerful sermon needs to be relevant. It won’t change your life but it needs to enrich your life. Do you remember the first ever motivational video you watched? Or the first motivational book you read? You should feel refreshed and inspired by any sermon. From experience, I strongly believe that sermons should be relatable too. It’s 2018. Outdated viewpoints do NOT bring people together. Let’s keep it real here.

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You are unhappy – Feeling unhappy and feeling like church is a chore are two completely different things. If the thought of being in a certain environment on Sunday mornings unsettles you, its time to consider moving on. Happiness comes from within but if something threatens your happiness, taking action is important. Again, reflection is key, so if you don’t like going to church it is time to ask yourself some serious questions. Weigh out the pros and the cons.

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The ministry is wrapped in controversy – At the end of the day, no one is perfect. We are all flawed. However, when controversy arises, it will definitely impact on the church and also everyone at the centre of the ministry. When some churches go through tough and transitional periods, you may discover things you never knew. Gossip stricken pews and power struggles can have such a negative impact on the experiences of others. There are politics in every industry, I’m aware of that, but some events are just too messy to be implicated in.

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Of course there are so many other signs that it may be time to move to another place of worship so when it comes to your spiritual health, do check in with yourself once in a while. Remember that as you embark on your journey with God, your happiness is paramount.

How do you take care of your spiritual wellbeing? Have you ever had to leave a place of worship? If so, then what was the driving force behind your decision?

I always love to hear from you so do like, leave a comment and don’t forget to subscribe to the blog!

Kel xo

Its Kelle's Space2 Comments