First dates can be quite daunting. You’re never sure of what to say or what to expect. They are definitely an air of mystery. If you decide to date, you should prepare yourself for anything. So much emphasis is placed on dating in today’s society that nobody really pays attention to the fact that warning signs can rear their head before a meeting has even taken place!
What inspired this post was a tweet I saw a few weeks ago. A young lady was telling a story about the worst date she had ever been on. Before she went into detail regarding the events, she revealed that she wasn’t attracted to the guy who had been pursuing her. A wave of shock came over me. I just couldn’t believe that women are still dating for the sake of ‘dating’ in 2018. Free food, unwanted attention and wasted time will get you nowhere and I’m a big believer in the importance of protecting your energy. Here are some signs that you shouldn’t go on the first date:
A man with no plan – A man without a plan is a big waste of time. Never put yourself in a position where you find yourself out and about and your potential suitor has no idea where they want to take you. It is insulting. If a man has shown interest in you and decided to pursue you, it is HIS (yes, his) job to show you how serious he is about being in your life. As you get to know each other, you’ll both get an idea of what your likes and dislikes are and a guy should be able to use this information to make informed choices. If you’ve been talking for a while and he doesn’t know where you’re going to go, then he’s got to go!
Awkward conversations – This has got to be one of the biggest signs women ignore. In the run up to your date, you’ll obviously be communicating every other day via phone or text. Pay attention to what he says. If he has nothing good to say and spends a lot of time talking about himself, that gives you a glimpse as to what your date would be like. The frequency of communication is also important. If he only gets in touch in the evenings or at weekends, ditch him. This may be an unpopular opinion but communication in the early stages of a relationship should comprise of calls and texts. Solely relying on texts is a huge dealbreaker. There’s something about phone calls that’s very intimate. You definitely get to know who you’re dealing with a lot quicker.
Research and Vibes – These days, it’s very easy to keep up with someone online. I’m not saying you must turn into the FBI, but just keep in mind that your safety comes first in any dating situation. If you are not happy with what you know or if you’re concerned about what you don’t know, then don’t go on the date. Also, pay attention to the vibes you are getting. From personal experience, if I go on a guy’s social media page and 80% of his following are women, I wouldn’t date him. You can get an impression of someone by checking their social media pages or seeing if they’ve been mentioned online. In these times we live in, it’s 100% necessary, so do some research before you commit to a meeting.
Hearsay – Impressions mean everything and if someone you trust has had any kind of encounter with your potential date (or even has some serious tea on them), think about reconsidering. Of course, you have the option to confront your date but at the early stages, it’s definitely a bit extreme. Be vigilant and be cautious. Not everyone is trying to destroy every good thing that comes into your life. Trust that the people who love and care about you will do their best to look out for you.
Compatibility – Do you know the quote ‘ When someone shows you who they are, believe them’? That’s what compatability is in a nutshell. We all have the ability to be ourselves. Even if we put on a facade, it will only be a matter of time before it fades. Actions speak louder than words so if someone is making you feel like you are an option and not a priority, then chances are your gut is serving you right. Compatibility isn’t about you and your date being the same person. It’s about being able to connect, being well suited in addition to having a good amount of chemistry. As a wise person once told me ‘ when you know, you know’.
We are weeks away from a new year and one thing I always will aim to do on this blog is tell it like it is. If you know that you need to change your attitude towards dating and relationships, take action now. Speak to a friend or someone you can trust, watch YT videos (this is one of my favourites), read books. Do whatever you need to do in order to address what may be holding you back. Don’t take dating too seriously, use it as a learning experience. If something great comes out of it, then embrace it, but forcing a connection or an interaction is a huge no no, ladies. Just don’t do it. Let this be your entire mood for 2019:
Your time, space and energy are the most valuable resources you will ever receive on this earth, so use them wisely.
I’d love to hear what your thoughts are on this post. Do you have any pre-date dealbreakers of your own? Please feel free to leave a comment and don’t forget to like and subscribe to my space!
Happy December! ‘Tis the season to be jolly as I will be sharing some fabulous money saving tips that you can all abide by this Christmas! As joyous as Christmas is, it is so easy to do everything in excess, especially where money is concerned. I felt that this was the right time to share my tips with you as I believe that you don’t need to break the bank to have an amazing Christmas!
Make the most of the sales – The biggest misconception with shopping for Christmas gifts is that they have to be expensive. I actually believe that this is the reason why many people are quite selective with the gifts that they give. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being particular regarding who you give gifts too but always remember that you can shop around. If you happen to find something similar to your planned gift that happens to be on sale, take advantage of that! You’ll save money in the process as well as being first in line to avoid the much dreaded January blues. Just remember to follow these golden rules before you buy your gift: Try things on, read reviews and always keep a receipt!
Put some thought into your gift – There’s nothing worse than receiving a gift and then later realising you have no use for it! Of course, any gift should be received with gratitude but don’t forget to make sure your gifts for your loved ones have a purpose. For example, if your significant other is into photography, a ring light or a photography course would be perfect for them! Another example is if your son or daughter wants to be a part of the golf crowd , you may decided that these kids golf gifts are perfect for them! Think about what your loved ones are passionate about and channel that energy into giving them a gift they will remember for many years to come. I was a huge Roald Dahl fan as a child and my godmother bought me The Roald Dahl Treasury, which was a collection of every single book he had written. I was overjoyed and reading the treasury definitely ignited my love affair with books and ultimately, writing as a whole. If you find that choosing a gift is difficult, you have the option of buying a gift card instead.
Make a list – I swear by lists every single day, especially when I’m at work, so I will never stop ranting about them. As someone who has worked in Marketing, let me tell you this, a lot of brands partake in psychological pricing . Psychological pricing is a strategy which is based on a theory that certain prices have a psychological impact. For example, £5.99 would because it’s less than £6 and so on. The whole idea of psychological pricing is to get you to part with your money, fast. It’s one of the best strategies out there in addition to 3 for 2 offers. Before you head out on your Christmas shop, make a list. Go over it and stick to it! Don’t be swayed by all the promotions because you will end up buying things that you don’t need. This goes for food shopping too!
Prepare in advance – If you are planning to travel, book your tickets in advance. Whether you’re spending Christmas with your family or you want to leave your city for a day, planning ahead will save you so much money and hassle. Trainline is one of the best websites for decently priced train tickets but do look around so you can make comparisons (journey times, cost etc).
Shop online – I have saved the best tip for last. Shop online. Shopping online will make your life so much easier. Who wants to be walking down Oxford Street a week before Christmas? Searching for gifts online is always a good idea. As mentioned in one of my previous posts, brands will reward you with £ off when you subscribe to their mailing lists. Of course, you can always unsubscribe if you don’t want to be inundated with emails. The only thing you really need to be cautious of when shopping online is delivery dates.
What are your Christmas money saving tips? I love to hear from you all so please do leave a comment and don’t forget to like and subscribe too!
Who remembers when I joined forces with the lovely Charlotte from Memoirs and Musings to discuss diversity in the beauty industry? A lot has happened since this post first went live so Charlotte and I have joined forces yet again to discuss the current state of the beauty industry. Are the voices of WoC really being heard? Is blackfishing degrading? What should brands be doing in order to be diverse? No table has been left unturned in this post and we also want to hear from you too! Use the hashtag #EveryHUEIsBeautiful to get involved.
For brands to champion diversity, I believe they must admit that there is a lack of product and service offerings for people of colour. A problem can’t be addressed without admitting there is an issue. WoC have such a high spending power so why aren’t we being catered to? I recall seeing a thread on Twitter where one WoC was at the airport and needed foundation and she couldn’t find her shade. When she enquired about more shades, she was simply told that ‘that was all they had’. Experiences like this are very frustrating mostly because most brands that we adore are susceptible to such behaviours. Where will the line be drawn?
Credit: Elle
Market research is also an issue. I don’t think brands should be solving a problem like a lack of diversity internally. I think that they need to adopt a proactive approach to finding out what they should be doing to be more inclusive. NYX are a good example of this. They recently partnered up with YouTuber Alissa Ashley on the Can’t Stop Won’t Stop Foundation range. Even though it has received its fair share of criticism, NYX are going out of their way to make sure WoC are represented. As a former Marketing professional, I also feel that brands should make use of focus groups. Find some WoC, ask them what they would like to see in shops and gain an understanding of who they are. Marketing should be a constant force, especially in an industry that is as competitive as the cosmetics field. Storytelling is also something that brands are starting to introduce, and this helps customers feel like they do matter!
What are your thoughts on the ‘blackfishing ’scandal?
One of the things that shocks me the most about blackfishing is that these influencers have been able to get away with this for so long! The likes of Emma Hallberg reek of deception. The fact that all of these ‘blackfishers’ have modified their appearance to look black is terrible. Hallberg claims she tans very quickly but she lives in Sweden and European countries don’t experience prolonged periods of warmth. You can clearly see from her before and after photos that there is a difference in colour between her face and her body. Black women have struggled to find beauty in their complexion and their hair. We are finally being represented thanks to ground-breaking influencers such as Jackie Aina and Patricia Bright but our culture and our features are being monetised by nonblack women, who perceive our culture as some sort of trend.
Credit: Vice
Cancel Culture: To be or not to be?
Cancel culture is simply intensified hype. The cancel culture can be toxic and unhelpful. I feel like the cancel culture is started by one person and before you know it, everyone else has adopted the same way of thinking. The rise of social media has made it harder for people to think for themselves. It seems like everyone wants to follow the crowd. Do you remember when Dove, Shea Moisture and Nivea were cancelled, the latter in particular? Nivea were under fire for the launch of a skin lightening cream back in 2017. There were so many calls for people to boycott the brand because of this. Did you know that the word Nivea is taken from the Latin word ‘Niveus’ which means ‘snow-white’? so it was only a matter of time before the brand decided to cash in on the skin bleaching craze. Unfortunately, a lot of brands will cash in on the insecurities of WoC which is why I wasn’t surprised at the news that Blac Chyna has joined forces with singer Dencia’s brand Whitenicious to endorse a new skin lightening cream. WoC are a force to be reckoned with so it is important that we don’t give in to such ideals. We shouldn’t give energy to anything that encourages us to divulge into self-hate and pity. I don’t stan for cancel culture, but I do believe an open mind and willingness to educate yourself as a WoC is key. It is your right and it is your responsibility.
Credit: BBC
Can controversial brands redeem themselves?
No, I don’t believe that we can. In our society, news travels like wildfire, so when I go to my Twitter feed and I’m seeing swatches of Tarte’s newest foundation with just two or three shades that would be deemed suitable for WoC, I feel so uncomfortable. We buy your eyeshadow palettes, we buy your lipsticks, we even buy your overpriced highlighters, but you can’t get it right when it comes to our foundations? It is 2018 and Black, Asian and Latina women shouldn’t be asking why they aren’t represented. If a brand doesn’t cater to us, we must be aware of this. I would encourage any woman to use a product that doesn’t accentuate her beauty and make her feel good too because that’s what makeup and skincare is all about really. What was it a wise man once said about going where you are celebrated and not where you are tolerated? Just some food for thought…
If I had a brand of my own, what three things would be at its core?
Inclusivity – If I had a beauty brand, I would ensure that inclusivity would reign supreme. I would want every woman to feel like she was represented. Also, I’d like any campaigns I launched to reflect this.
Storytelling – As mentioned earlier, I think storytelling will become even more of a craze in 2019. Brands are starting to realise that pictures and pricing strategies just won’t cut it. Moving the customer’s mind has now become just as important as moving their purse strings.
Quality and Affordability – These two go hand in hand. There’s nothing worse than buying an affordable product that you were really excited about, only for it to fail to live up to your expectations. Any product affiliated with my brand would do exactly what it says on the packaging. I’d also take different skincare needs and requirements into consideration too.
When the swatches for Tarte’s newest foundation were revealed earlier this year, it ignited a huge discussion about representation for WoC in the beauty industry.
To conclude, I believe that there is still a long way to go in the fight for diversity. What about Fenty Beauty you may say? Well, cosmetics brands for WoC existed way before Fenty did (Iman, Black Opal etc) and part of the brand’s ability to revolutionise the beauty industry was due to the fact that it was endorsed by one of the world’s biggest pop stars. Attitudes need to be changed, differences need to be welcomed, voices need to be heard and the needs of WoC should be catered to as part of it being the norm and not because of pity.
Has diversity in the beauty industry improved since our last post?
YES
In ways, yes. I’m seeing more brands, influencers and people champion diversity and inclusivity. However it still feels like a daily battle. But I’m glad brands are listening to their customers and willing to evolve. One example that stands out is Make Up Revolution expanding their shade range in their concealers and foundations, and they are not only affordable, they’re available online and in-store.
Swatches from Make Up Revolution’s foundation range Credit: Playful Pennies
NO
However, there is still a long way to go. I will look at a brand’s page knowing fully well they have a diverse shade range but the models and influencers they repost are of one spectrum. As someone of colour, I’m not sure how this makes me feel entirely. It makes me wonder who is making the decisions internally. Why aren’t we being included?
The same goes for finding products in store. I was at Heathrow Airport recently picking up a couple of bits before my flight and not wanting to spend a lot, I headed to Boots. Whilst I was not after any complexion products, I couldn’t help but notice how BAD the shade range was. The only Maybelline shades stocked were Caramel and Cocao. People of colour do not come in two shades and not all of us want to head to higher end brands like Mac or Nars whilst travelling because we might already be on a budget.
Credit: Duty Free Hunter
Which influencers are using their position to make moves in the industry? EG Jackie Aina with Two Faced or Alissa Ashley with NYX.
Jackie Aina and Alissa Ashley are definitely the two that come to mind. I’m sure there are other examples but I probably don’t follow them… Alissa Ashley’s collaboration with NYX saw a foundation range with 50 shades (Can’t Stop Won’t Stop). No fifty shades of beige here. What I loved most about the range was that there were a range of undertones in pale, medium, dark and deeper shades. Having personally tried the foundation, I’m really impressed and I was happy when picking my shade of having at least 4 or 5 to pick from. Best of all, it was only £15.
However, I do need to get something off my chest that’s been bugging me about the whole influencer world, cancel culture and a little hypocrisy. I see brands take bloggers on once-in-a-lifetime trips and experiences week after week and some of these influencers are very quick to ‘cancel’ other brands because of their lack of shade range, yet they accept a trip with another brand that is notorious for not being very inclusive? Something doesn’t add up here.
Whilst a press trip may not particularly be for a complexion product, Can you separate your thoughts on a brand’s inclusivity if they’re offering you a once-in-a-lifetime experience?
Your beliefs need to align with your morals, but again I do see both sides of the spectrum.
#TrippinWithTarte – Some of YT’s most popular influencers have gone on trips that have been paid for by beauty brands. Notably, MakeUpShayla is the only influencer of colour in this group.
When it comes to foundations, what’s one thing you think brands are failing to do?
I can’t just stick to foundations, so I’m going to make it a little wider.
Constantly invite the same influencers on press trips (it’s getting a little stale now).
Only respond to expanding their shade ranges when they’re called out.
Not have POC on their social media teams who understand the colloquialisms to use online.
Not feature POC on their social media or if they do, it is infrequent.
Keep releasing seemingly *new* products which are really just the same old palette with a couple of new shades. Instead, there should be a focus on fan faves, or older products.
Sending huge PR boxes to influencers at the same time. Why not stagger it? Or why not send it to loyal customers? Not only that, does it really make sense to send an influencer the WHOLE collection? Why not a couple of shades or key pieces? OR ask them what they would like to receive?
What’s your dream beauty collaboration and why?
This is a very very hard one BUT I’d love to collaborate with NARS. Its the one brand that I generally love all round. My only gripe is that it’s expensive and every time I need a new concealer, I wince at its £24 price tag. I’d love to curate an affordable line for them. *speaks into existence*
Credit: Look Fantastic
Are there are beauty collaborations you are looking forward to this year?
I’m not gonna lie, I’m trying to save my coins in 2019 and as I’ve mentioned it feels like brands are releasing the SAME products. So I’ll be shopping my stash in 2019 and reliving my old faves!
Thank you for reading guys! Clearly, we had a lot to say about this issue so if you would like to get involved, use the hashtag #EveryHueIsBeautiful on social media.
Do let me know what you think about this most and whether you’d like to see more of this on the blog.
Also, don’t forget to like, comment and subscribe!
Weddings are such a joyous occasion but there’s no denying the fact that planning a wedding can be very stressful. From finding the perfect dress to making sure the venue you’ve chosen is suitable, getting everything right in the run up to your big day can feel impossible. Some of us have already made our minds up in regards to the type of wedding we would like to have. Some of us have already started planning every little detail (whether we are actually getting married or not).
In this post, I’m going to be talking about wedding venues. The Meridian Grand is luxury conference, wedding, banquets and events venue in London. As one of London’s best wedding venues situated in the North of the city, no stone is left unturned when it comes to assuring that your special day is one that you will remember for years to come. Here are some reasons why I think that The Meredian Grand is the perfect venue for a wedding:
A choice of ballrooms – There are two ballrooms in the venue. There is The Grand Ballroom and The Meridian Ballroom and both ballrooms can actually be combined into one space, so if you want a big wedding it would be perfect for you. One of the most important aspects of wedding planning is the guest list. Once you and your fiance have agreed on who you would both like to invite, you can then sort out the rest of the finer details.
Event management – Planning an event is not easy so you may decide to hire someone to help you. Although event planners don’t come cheap, lots of brides are choosing to leave their special day in someone’s else’s hands and who can blame them? 100% involvement with less stress? It’s a great idea. The Meridian Grand have a designated event coordinator available on your big day. They specialise in turning your dreams into a reality. Be weary with relying heavily on a event planner, make sure that you are happy with everything that is being suggested. After all, it is you and your partner’s big day.
Decor – One thing I like about this venue is the decor. All ballrooms are dedicated to a high standard. You are able to have the theme of your choice and customised lights are also available. The ballrooms have such a luxurious look and a virtual tour is available. When it comes to decor, coordination is key. Also, don’t be afraid to keep things simple. Sometimes going all out can take attention away from other things. Don’t forget to do some research to get a clear idea of what it is you want.
Cuisine – This is one of the most talked about aspects of any wedding. A part of celebrating the happy couple’s joy is by congratulating them, getting a glimpse of the bride’s beautiful dress and eating the food at the reception. At the Meredian Grand, you have the option of hiring your own caterer. A state of the art kitchen is also available so you won’t need to worry about the food getting cold. The reason why I think hiring a caterer is the best option is because there’ll be a lot more variety on offer. Food from event venues won’t really give you the freedom to have a certain preference. You get what you’re given and this isn’t necessarily for everyone.
Another place I think would make a perfect wedding venue is Botleys Mansion.
What’s your ideal wedding venue? What would you like your wedding day to be like? What tips would you give to brides-to-be?
I hope you’ve enjoyed this post! I love to hear from you so do leave a comment below and don’t forget to like and subscribe!
I asked, you responded and I listened! I’m back with another restaurant review.
I had the pleasure of going to Ma Petite Jamaica, a Caribbean restaurant in the heart of Camden. Camden is famed for being one of London’s most vibrant districts but not much emphasis is placed on the fact that the area boasts an offering of many different cuisines (South African, Asian etc). I wasn’t aware of any Caribbean restaurants in the area so I was taken aback when I discovered Ma Petite Jamaica.
Since 1985, the restaurant has been serving authentic Jamaican food and proudly calls itself ‘London’s first Caribbean diner’. As I walk into the restaurant, there is something about the atmosphere. Beautiful pictures of Jamaica and the country’s flag are complimented by brightly painted chairs and decor reminiscent of that in the islands made me feel at home instantly. It was a Friday night and the restaurant was buzzing and I couldn’t help but notice the fantastic cocktails that were on offer. In the meantime, I received a warm welcome from the manager and was shown to my table. As I waited for my cousin to arrive, I couldn’t resist trying a Pina Colada. Fruity, strong and sweet: it was everything a Pina Colada should be.
The customer service was very impressive. As soon as my cousin arrived, we were asked what we wanted for our starter. We chose saltfish fritters and jerk wings. From observing the menu, I knew that Ma Petite was a jerk specialist so I had very high expectations for my chicken wings. They were beautifully presented on a rectangular plate and they had a delightful taste. You could taste the mouthwatering spices and the sweetness of the jerk sauce – the combination was absolutely divine.
The saltfish fritters didn’t disappoint either and what I liked about them is they weren’t greasy and flat as they can be in some Caribbean restaurants (hey, I’m just being honest) but they were very soft, round and the fish was just quality. Personally, I loved that the fritters were not crispy and the mango chutney was a nice addition to the dish. My only recommendation would be to perhaps serve the mango chutney on the side as a dip instead of using it for decorative purposes. Either way, both starters were sublime.
All of the mains are served with rice and peas, coleslaw and plantain. I had the Quarter Jerk Chicken and my cousin had the Jerk Red Snapper (fish).
The jerk chicken was absolutely delicious. I liked that it was fairly hot and you could taste the lovely array of spices. It was very succulent. The rice was also full of flavour and paired with the sauce, it tasted even better. The plantains were soft and the coleslaw was fresh and crunchy. The whole meal was extremely appetising. I felt very full before I had even finished half of my plate.
The jerk red snapper was crispy and fresh. I didn’t get a picture of it but like the chicken, it was also paired with a tasty sauce. It was excellently cooked. By the end of our meal, it was very clear to see why Ma Petite was a jerk pit. You can feel the passion and expertise they have for creating jerk dishes from their mouthwatering food.
The cocktails served were all amazing. As mentioned earlier, my pina colada was refreshingly sweet. My mojito was also refreshing and I just couldn’t get over how fresh the mint was. I also liked that it had the right amount of sugar. None of these cocktails disappointed me so it was clear to see why the bar was full of people enjoying drinks after a week of working.
For desert, we opted to share a carrot cake. It was warm, sweet and the perfect way to finish our meal. One thing I couldn’t help but notice was how soft it was, it literally melted in our mouths. The icing wasn’t overbearing and it was beautifully presented on the plate.
Overall, it is clear to see why Ma Petite Jamaica is one of the finest Caribbean restaurants in London. Every dish was cooked to perfection, the atmosphere is relaxed and natural, the pictures and architecture set the mood and it is clear to see the friendly and attentive team enjoy what they do. It was an experience that I won’t be forgetting anytime soon and I highly recommend visiting this restaurant.
Rating: 9/10
For more information about Ma Petite Jamaica, click here .
I hope you have enjoyed this review. Do leave a comment to let me know what you think and also don’t forget to like and subscribe to Its Kelle’s Space.
If you are an avid user of Twitter like I am, then I’m sure you came across the hashtag or trending topic, Fraud Bae and wondered what was going on. Twitter was going crazy when it was revealed that a young lady who goes by the Twitter name @blessed_angell revealed that she was defrauded by a man she was dating. The tea in that thread was something else! I won’t go into details, if you are interested in reading it, click here.
As a woman, it saddens me when I hear or read stories about women being taken advantage of. In the case of #FraudBae, the victim was lucky to have gotten justice because lots of women do not. Another thing that has been highlighted in this whole fiasco is the importance of paying attention to signs. Signs are ALWAYS there, this can’t be denied. It is up to us whether we ignore them or act on them.
In this post, I’m going to be sharing 10 things that I believe we can all learn from the story of #FraudBae
Stop giving men money!
Yes, I said it and I’ll say it again, stop giving men money. Takers love to take and they never give. You may think you’re being nice or supportive by providing a man with financial help, but before you know it, you’ll realise most of your paycheck is gone. If a man hasn’t got a sense of order when it comes to his finances, you’ve got to run for the hills. He is not the right man for you. If he tries to charm you into giving him money, run for the hills. If his work situation makes no sense, run for the hills. If a guy is desperate for money, he can ask his friends or his momma. You are not a man’s ATM!
Pay attention to signs
The guy at the centre of this scandal was actually accused of domestic violence on Twitter earlier this year. A user claimed that he had been beating her sister and of course the entire TL was shocked. When #FraudBae started his relationship with his victim, he claimed that he had broken up with his girlfriend, who he later took to Paris on her dime. If a guy tells you he has done something, never ever take his word for it straight away. Do research, watch his body language, look out for changes in his behaviour. A lot of men are pursuing other women while they are in relationships and then telling the other woman that they’ve broken up with the main woman and this is usually a lie. Don’t be a victim.
You can walk away from a date
What puzzled quite a few people was that this guy told his victim that he had left his wallet at home and she’d have to pay for everything he had. Baring in mind that this was probably one of their first dates, this is a huge dealbreaker. If a man is pursuing a woman, he should pay for the first few dates. A man who can actually leave his house without his wallet isn’t a man, he’s an opportunist. If you ever find yourself in a position like this, exercise your right to leave. Just postpone the date.
Look into anyone you’re dating
There is no way such terrible actions can ever be condoned but if you are dating or talking to someone, do your research! Don’t be afraid to check out their social media profiles or anything else you can feast on your eyes on. It’s not being stalker-ish. You owe it to yourself to look out for you. Don’t believe things as soon as they are said to you. Also, pay attention to character. Do their actions match their words? Are they a clear and confident communicator? In the early stages ladies, your job is to sit back and observe.
Trust your gut instinct
In one tweet, the victim did say that she suspected the perpetrator of having a girlfriend. I cannot stress how important it is to trust your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Again, paying attention to any changes in behaviour will help you out. Can they only meet you on weekends? Has their personality drastically changed? (for better or worse). Your gut will never let you down. If there’s no trust, there is no relationship.
Talk to the people around you
This may be controversial but I do believe to a certain extent, that women who live alone and are prone to useless men and time wasters. I feel like a useless man sees a self sufficient woman as a lottery ticket. All they need to do is get the right numbers, so basically do the right things and then they’ve hit the jackpot. If you’re not going to trust your gut, then try to talk to a few close friends about your relationship. Your friends love, support and encourage you and they should be able to pick up on things that might not be right about your relationship in a constructive manner.
Dating is one of society’s biggest challenges right now. You never know who you’re going to meet and what you’re going to experience. I am a big believer in learning from the experiences of others and I would encourage every other woman who is single to do the same. Remember that it is not your job to fix, help or heal anybody’s son. Open your mind, guard your heart and check out if you feel you are being played.
What did you think about the Fraud Bae scandal? What would you have done if it happened to you? What other lessons do you think women could learn from this story?
Contrary to what many may think, being romantic isn’t lame. If you’re like me and you know your love language , you will have a good understanding of what you expect from a relationship, regardless of the stage it is in. Both parties in a relationship should work up the courage to do sweet things for each other. Never stop showing your partner how much they mean to you, whether you’ve been with them for 1 year or 10 years. In this post, I’ll be sharing 5 ways you can be more romantic in your personal relationships:
Thoughts do count
There’s nothing wrong letting your partner know that you’re thinking of them. The little things do count and you will definitely see or hear something that reminds you of your significant other. Don’t hesitate to let them know how you feel. If your gestures take energy, time and effort then you are definitely doing the right things.
Surprises
Don’t be afraid to surprise your partner. Sometimes, things can get a little boring but it’s important to not leave things as they are. Try something new. If you do something that your partner isn’t expecting, your relationship will flourish. Surprise your partner with flowers or have their favourite snack sent to their workplace. Things like this will definitely reignite the spark in your relationship.
Simplicity
Relationships aren’t as expensive as everyone likes to think they are. There are things that you can do with your partner that don’t involve you breaking the bank. A great idea is having a movie night. Cook dinner, have a glass of wine and watch a movie. In the early stages of a relationship, some couples spend time talking about many things. The desire to get to know each other should run deep. We’ve all been through that feeling when you’re getting to know someone new and you think you’ve been talking to them for 20 minutes and it’s actually been 2 hours. You will come to see that spending quality time with each other is just as great as dinner at a fancy restaurant.
Assurance
I’m not saying this because the Nigerian singer Davido put this word on the map (if you know, you know) but assurance is essential in any relationship. I’m not saying you should shower your partner with affirmations 24/7 but if you like their shirt, let them know or if you like their hair, tell your special one how good they look. A simple way to assure your partner is to send that classic ‘Good Morning’ text. We’ve all had a major confidence boost when we wake up to see a message notification.
Remembering anniversaries
Whether you’re sentimental or not, we all remember special milestones in our relationships so why not commemorate them? Plan something special in advance for the big anniversaries and for the little dates, remind your partner of that special day or moment that helped to cement your relationship. This is where communication comes in. If anniversaries mean a lot to you, you’ve got to let your partner know. Don’t expect them to read your mind. Speak up.
Are you a romantic? Do you like being a romantic or do you believe romance is dead?
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No matter how long you’ve been with your partner or how much you love them, sometimes things can feel a little boring. Relationships require a lot of work and you and your partner will need to work together to spice things up. The honeymoon phase will come to an end and as we become accustomed to our daily routines, it is natural that a relationship will suffer a little. Here are a few tips which may help you keep things interesting:
Surprise each other
A little spontaneity never hurt anyone, so don’t be afraid to think outside of the box. Stop doing the same things over and over again as this can be a little predictable. Routines can kill a relationship so take it in turns to plan date nights or cook together or even try a new activity.
Don’t be afraid to flirt from time to time
When we think of flirting, we don’t really associate the term with relationships but the key to keeping your relationship alive may lie in a flirty exchange. I’m not saying flirting will get you and your partner out of every rut but compliment each other from time to time, kiss more and inject some fun back into your relationship. You should never really stop dating your partner, and that goes for men and women. Keep doing the things that attracted you to them in the first place.
Travel together
Research has actually proven that couples who travel together have stronger relationships. When you feel you’re both happy with your relationship, don’t say no to a little bae-cation. Sometimes a change of scenery can be so refreshing. You don’t even need to get on a plane to do it. Websites such as Wowcher have some really nice cottage breaks. Spa breaks are also a great opportunity to pamper yourselves and just relax.
Communicate
Nothing can kill a relationship like a lack of communication. It’s so easy to do yet so many of us struggle with it! One of the most important things in a relationship, especially one that is new, is that you are able to communicate freely with each other. You shouldn’t feel like you need to hold back. Spend some time each day indulging in conversation. You don’t need to plan what you’re going to talk about. Sometimes the best conversations are the ones that come naturally.
Socialise together
Another thing that can help you get the most out of your relationship is socialising. It is important that you and your partner are able to spend time apart but it is essential that you are familiar with the company they keep. Now, I’m not saying their friends need to be your friends but something as simple as hosting a mutual gathering can bring some fun into your relationship.
Set goals
Last but not least, set some goals. Your partner should be your number 1 fan so work towards things together. Whether it’s going to the gym more often or saving money for a project. Support each other so that your goals can become a reality.
How do you keep things interesting between you and your partner? As always, I love to hear from you all so feel free to leave a comment and don’t forget to like and subscribe!
As Black History Month draws to an end, I’ve written an article for The Biographies celebrating Black British heroes. These heroes are redefining what it means to be black as they are using their platforms to discuss a variety of issues that affect people of colour. Once upon a time, issues such as gentrification or colourism weren’t even discussed so it’s about time our struggles are discussed and our triumphs are celebrated.
You can read the article I have written for The Biographies by clicking here.
I also wrote an article about Notting Hill Carnival back in August, click here to read it.
Who are your black heroes? Did you do anything to commemorate Black History Month?
I love to hear from you so feel free to leave a comment.
