Lessons Women Can Learn From The #FraudBae Story

If you are an avid user of Twitter like I am, then I’m sure you came across the hashtag or trending topic, Fraud Bae and wondered what was going on. Twitter was going crazy when it was revealed that a young lady who goes by the Twitter name @blessed_angell revealed that she was defrauded by a man she was dating. The tea in that thread was something else! I won’t go into details, if you are interested in reading it, click here.
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As a woman, it saddens me when I hear or read stories about women being taken advantage of. In the case of #FraudBae, the victim was lucky to have gotten justice because lots of women do not. Another thing that has been highlighted in this whole fiasco is the importance of paying attention to signs. Signs are ALWAYS there, this can’t be denied. It is up to us whether we ignore them or act on them.
In this post, I’m going to be sharing 10 things that I believe we can all learn from the story of #FraudBae
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Stop giving men money!
Yes, I said it and I’ll say it again, stop giving men money. Takers love to take and they never give. You may think you’re being nice or supportive by providing a man with financial help, but before you know it, you’ll realise most of your paycheck is gone. If a man hasn’t got a sense of order when it comes to his finances, you’ve got to run for the hills. He is not the right man for you. If he tries to charm you into giving him money, run for the hills. If his work situation makes no sense, run for the hills. If a guy is desperate for money, he can ask his friends or his momma. You are not a man’s ATM!
Pay attention to signs
The guy at the centre of this scandal was actually accused of domestic violence on Twitter earlier this year. A user claimed that he had been beating her sister and of course the entire TL was shocked. When #FraudBae started his relationship with his victim, he claimed that he had broken up with his girlfriend, who he later took to Paris on her dime. If a guy tells you he has done something, never ever take his word for it straight away. Do research, watch his body language, look out for changes in his behaviour. A lot of men are pursuing other women while they are in relationships and then telling the other woman that they’ve broken up with the main woman and this is usually a lie. Don’t be a victim.
You can walk away from a date
What puzzled quite a few people was that this guy told his victim that he had left his wallet at home and she’d have to pay for everything he had. Baring in mind that this was probably one of their first dates, this is a huge dealbreaker. If a man is pursuing a woman, he should pay for the first few dates. A man who can actually leave his house without his wallet isn’t a man, he’s an opportunist. If you ever find yourself in a position like this, exercise your right to leave. Just postpone the date.
Look into anyone you’re dating
There is no way such terrible actions can ever be condoned but if you are dating or talking to someone, do your research! Don’t be afraid to check out their social media profiles or anything else you can feast on your eyes on. It’s not being stalker-ish. You owe it to yourself to look out for you. Don’t believe things as soon as they are said to you. Also, pay attention to character. Do their actions match their words? Are they a clear and confident communicator? In the early stages ladies, your job is to sit back and observe.
Trust your gut instinct 
In one tweet, the victim did say that she suspected the perpetrator of having a girlfriend. I cannot stress how important it is to trust your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Again, paying attention to any changes in behaviour will help you out. Can they only meet you on weekends? Has their personality drastically changed? (for better or worse). Your gut will never let you down. If there’s no trust, there is no relationship.
Talk to the people around you
This may be controversial but I do believe to a certain extent, that women who live alone and are prone to useless men and time wasters. I feel like a useless man sees a self sufficient woman as a lottery ticket. All they need to do is get the right numbers, so basically do the right things and then they’ve hit the jackpot. If you’re not going to trust your gut, then try to talk to a few close friends about your relationship. Your friends love, support and encourage you and they should be able to pick up on things that might not be right about your relationship in a constructive manner.
Dating is one of society’s biggest challenges right now. You never know who you’re going to meet and what you’re going to experience. I am a big believer in learning from the experiences of others and I would encourage every other woman who is single to do the same. Remember that it is not your job to fix, help or heal anybody’s son. Open your mind, guard your heart and check out if you feel you are being played.
What did you think about the Fraud Bae scandal? What would you have done if it happened to you? What other lessons do you think women could learn from this story?
Don’t forget to like, comment and subscribe.
Kel xo

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  • seekingdivineperspective
    November 5, 2018

    The biggest (and most common) mistake women make today is giving themselves (their bodies) to men without a commitment – yes, I’m talking about marriage. (Not “engagement,” MARRIAGE.) When God laid down the rules for sex, He was not trying to be a killjoy, He was protecting us, especially women. I remember when a marriage ceremony ended with the words, “I now pronounce you man and wife.” It is now “I now pronounce you husband and wife,” but personally I like the idea that a guy is not declared a “man” until he has made a lifetime commitment to a woman. And yes, I’m old, but I’ve been married to the same man for 45 years, and I have no regrets.
    In my opinion, if a woman lets a man know her body is for her husband only, the jerks won’t hang around, and you’ll meet “Mr. Right” a lot sooner. #worthwaitingfor

    • Its Kelle's Space
      November 5, 2018

      I agree with you. I think that women do owe it to themselves to protect their minds and also their bodies because there are a lot of men doing terrible things out there. I also think setting standards is just as important. I feel that what you accept is what you tolerate.

      • seekingdivineperspective
        November 5, 2018

        Exactly! Accept nothing less than the best. After all, you are a child of the King, so wait for your prince. 😉

        • Its Kelle's Space
          November 6, 2018

          ☺️ Amen.
          I am waiting for him, it’s been 2 years but I know that God isn’t sleeping on me, He will make it happen.

  • myspottedblog
    November 5, 2018

    Yes! Good advice. I remember reading about this and there were so many signs. Sometimes the hardest part is being honest with yourself. You can only brush things off so many times before you recognize the pattern and problem.
    Cheers xx
    Rachel | http://www.myspottedblog.com

    • Its Kelle's Space
      November 5, 2018

      Thanks! Exactly, there were way too many signs! I agree, it can be very hard to be honest with yourself when things just aren’t right xx

  • Batmom85
    November 6, 2018

    Girl this post was my two cups of tea for the day. Great advice. I got caught up in the fraud bae story just wowwwww

  • Olli from Olliviette.com
    November 6, 2018

    okay, i had to go back to fraud bae story just to make sure i hadn’t missed anything cause tbh that scam could have been run on anyone. i trust everyone *enough* and i’ll be straight up as to why – everyone is capable of doing something mean, evil, wrong. i’m sorry that happened to her though.
    i do agree with paying attention to signs and knowing it’s okay to walk away but like you stated, dating is some hot mess action even in a big 2018.

    • Its Kelle's Space
      November 6, 2018

      I am too!
      It’s honestly such a shame she went through that but yes, dating in this day and age isn’t easy at all.

  • jennasworldview
    November 6, 2018

    I loved this post Kelles
    Every point you made was on point! I honestly I can not detest anything. Us women really owe it to ourselves to do our own due diligence on men we interact with. I am so happy she got justice but that scum bag is milking it.

    • Its Kelle's Space
      November 6, 2018

      Thank you Jenna, I’m glad you liked the post.
      I couldn’t agree more with you.
      It is actually shocking me how he is milking it, I can’t believe he’s reportedly signed a record deal.This is mad.
      Thanks for reading dear.

  • A Piece of Sarah
    November 6, 2018

    “A man who can actually leave his house without his wallet isn’t a man, he’s an opportunist.” 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
    I pretty much said yassss to everything you said, such great advice. Women really need to stop giving money to men, trust their gut instinct and walk away when they see red flags. I thought fraudbae was nuts but not surprising because of how many opportunists there are, out there but I’m so happy she got justice and shared her story though, I’m sure other women will learn from it.

    • Its Kelle's Space
      November 7, 2018

      Thank you my dear.
      I’m glad you liked the post.
      I agree with you, I think this story highlights the importance of not ignoring red flags.
      I really hope that other women learn from it.

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