I was originally going to call this post ‘ 5 Signs You Need To End A Relationship’ but on reflection, there are more than five signs you’ll need to take into consideration if you are thinking about ending your relationship. In this post, I’m going to share what I believe are relationship deal breakers. Please bare in mind that I’m no relationship guru: I’m just speaking from experience and the experiences of those around me. I hope you enjoy this post.
Abuse is involved
Abuse shows itself in many forms. Whether it’s mental, physical, psychological or verbal: nobody should tolerate abuse of any kind from their partner. Think of a relationship as you would a friendship. You wouldn’t expect your friend to hurt you, so why would you let your partner? If you are a victim of abuse, please do what you can to get out. Speak to someone you trust, go and stay with a family member if you don’t live at home. Protect yourself at all costs.
I think that the reason why many relationships fail these days is due to a lack of compatability. Before you take any significant steps, make sure you and your partner get along! Personally, I wouldn’t put a time limit on checking whether you are compatible with your partner but there are always signs and if the majority of them show up in the form of a red flag, it’s time to leave. Staying in a relationship where compatability levels are non existent will leave you frustrated, angry and emotionally drained. In order for compatability to be present in your relationship, you need to understand each other, enjoy each other’s company and make your relationship a safe haven for each other.
An insecure partner is a toxic partner. Fair enough, we may all have small insecurities but when insecurities are magnified in a relationship, trouble is sure on it’s way. The thing about insecurities is that at first you may think your partner is being sweet or considerate towards you but when numerous questions about where you’re going, who you are seeing and snide remarks start taking centre place: you know you have a big problem on your hands. Another sign of insecurity to look out for is the need for constant reassurance about your relationship. Ultimately, if your partner refuses to accept the detrimental role their insecurities are playing in your relationship, it’s time to let go.
Bad behaviour is a non negotiable. You represent your partner and vice versa so if they behave poorly, it is highly unlikely that your relationship will be a success. Bad behaviour comes in many shapes and forms: whether its speaking to you rudely, being unpleasant to those who are inferior or superior…it’s all a huge no no. Do not date anyone who doesn’t have a good character. It sounds simple, yes, BUT there are many people out there who are on this continuous wheel of justification, forever making excuses for trashy behaviour. Don’t do it, just walk away.
Too many arguments
Every couple have their disagreements but if you are arguing all the time and you just can’t seem to find common ground, it’s time to walk away. There’s a difference between a disagreement and an argument and I think it depends on the individuals involved. Understanding is key. Being empathetic is even more important because its important to make sure you and your partner understand the root cause of your issue. Pay attention to how your partner handles arguments: do they listen to what you have to say or do they always insist on having the last say? If it’s the latter, then they have no regard for your feelings and you should never be with someone who you are clearly not on the same page with.
Communication is such an important part of a relationship. Without it, no relationship can survive. In a relationship, you should be able to communicate effectively with your partner and vice versa. If you constantly feel like you have to hold your tongue or that your views don’t matter, then you are in the wrong relationship. Communication strengthens the levels of trust, honesty and respect in your relationship. Communication can also stop needless arguments too. Don’t be with someone who will cut you off at every opportunity. No relationship can survive on ‘I love you’s’ alone. Don’t settle for a poor communicator.
So these are my signs that it’s time to end a relationship. Of course, there are so many more and feel free to leave a comment with your relationship dealbreakers below.
This will be my last post of the month. I’m going to take a small hiatus from IKS but if you would like to stay connected throughout the month of May, you can follow me on Twitter