One of the hardest parts of lockdown for many is life just not being the same. Our day to day routines seem like a figment of our imaginations. For those who are choosing to date or are in a relationship, getting through lockdown with your relationship in tact will be a challenge. In this post, Alana from the blog Alana Hebenton is going to be talking about lockdown love and how you can help your relationship survive lockdown:
At the moment, it’s safe to say that most people are under an immense amount of stress. The coronavirus lockdown has changed lives in the most dramatic of ways. Life as we knew it seems like forever ago. With week 10 of lockdown approaching, its not surprising that couples are reportedly arguing more than ever with divorces predicted to sky rocket once restrictions have been lifted.
So, how do we restore the lockdown love and help protect ourselves against the couple cracks as-well as the coronavirus crisis?
Take some time for you – Okay, so we know this isn’t the easiest thing to do in lockdown as unfortunately we don’t all live in Buckingham Palace and wonderful West Wings we can wander to (a girl can dream!) However, even if you just head out for a walk on your own. Put some earphones in. Take yourself off to read a book. Particularly if you’ve just had an argument with your partner, you can use this time to reflect and calm yourself down.
Be kind to each other – As hard as you are finding the situation, remember your partner is as well, so cut them slack. Some people have experienced major life changes, especially as far as employment is concerned. As easy as it may be to be grumpy all the time, take a moment to remind yourself how lucky you are to be in lockdown with someone you love. Whatever day to day routine you have, both of you will be coping (and struggling) in different ways. Do nice things for each other, such as making their favourite dinner, running them a special bath or just being there to listen at the end of a hard day. This can really help.
It’s good to talk – Communication is always important in relationships. Even though you may be around each other 24-7, 365, you still need to open up to your partner. Listen to their feelings and acknowledge them. Don’t brush off any of their concerns or worries about what’s happening. You should be able to confide in each other, and use the opportunity to open up about your own concerns and worries. We are living in some very testing times. Whether you keep up with the news or not, you will have something to say about the way lockdown is being handled, especially in the UK.
Have a routine – but don’t let it rule the roost! – Having a routine is a great way of giving you and your partner a sense of normality and control in what is a very abnormal and uncontrollable circumstance.
This can be as simple as getting dressed, making the bed and setting up a home office for the day. It’s good for everyone’s sense of esteem. But remember, repetitive routines can also be extremely dull, too, so find ways of introducing a little variety into your daily life – whether that’s taking up a new hobby each, watching box-sets you’ve never seen or discussing topics that you haven’t never talked about before over dinner – no matter how trivial.
Let’s talk about sex – For many, sex can be hugely comforting in a crisis. We’ve all heard about the baby boom that occurred after the New York blackout in 1977 and the Second World War. While sex may be an act of bonding and reassurance for others, anxiety and stress may mean that sex is the last thing on your partner’s mind. Be aware of any differences between you and your romantic partner may have about sex and don’t be afraid to talk about these differences without any judgement or guilt.
Think of the future – So, while it may seem hard to look forward to things at the moment, it helps to have strategies in place. When tensions occur, take some time out from each other – studies show that it takes 20 to 30 minutes for our nervous systems to calm down and our heart rates to slow to a normal rate after an argument. Once you’re both calm, come back together and take it in turns to listen to each other without interruption or needing to respond. Ultimately, remember that this epidemic will pass and the stresses placed on your relationship will lift. Hang on in there. One day, life as we all know it will be restored.
Thanks for reading this post, I hope you all found it helpful. Are you surviving lockdown as part of a couple? Feel free to comment below with some tips of your own.
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