This post is pretty self explanatory to be honest. As we get older, our circle of friends will increase or decrease. It’s so important to have a strong friendship support system: one that encourages, supports and uplifts you at all times.
Here are five signs that it’s time to walk away from a friendship:
1) One sided friendships
Your time, energy and space is so precious so make time for people who make time for you. If they are constantly cancelling plans or not texting or phoning you on a fairly regular basis, then you need to reconsider your friendship. Yes, we are all busy with life. Yes, we all have responsibilities BUT we will make time for the people we want to be around, so don’t be fooled. What you’re giving and what you’re getting should level up in your friendship.
2) Terrible behaviour
This is one of the biggest friendship killers. If your friend gossips about you, they can’t be trusted. If your friend does things they know will hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable then they are not your friend. It’s up to you to create a threshold for tolerance – once anyone gets over it, you need to cut them out. As with relationships, set the standard for friendships too. Be open, be understanding, be forgiving but do not be a doormat. Without trust, there can be no friendship. If your friend is ‘stanning’ for you in your face but doing the opposite when your back is turned then they are not your friend. Keep it moving.
3) Lack of contact
Any effort you make in a friendship should be reciprocated. Being the only one making contact or arranging to meet can be very draining. Sometimes, its not even about arranging meets, just sending a message to your friend to check on them can make a difference to their day. When friendships are forced, they lack genuinity. One thing you need to know (if you don’t already) – is that there are people out there forming friendships solely on the basis of gaining and giving nothing in return. Look out for so called friends who get in touch only when they need something.
Some friendships will help us grow while others won’t. It is a fact of life. Friendships, like relationships do have the ability to become toxic. If you don’t feel secure or happy around your friend, this can be a sign of trouble. Remember that healthy friendships are built around mutual respect, compassion, freedom of thinking, love, sharing and most importantly listening. If your friendship is leaving you drained them its time to cut it.
5) Losses and Gains – Pree their reactions
Now, it would have been impossible for me to do a friendship post without talking about L’s and G’s, otherwise known as losses and gains. Both play a significant role in allowing us to determine how our friends feel about us really. When you take an L, you should have the support of your friend (100%). They should make sure you are fine and try to reassure you in some way. Women should always support each other.
However, on the other hand, if you experience a gain (whether its work, love or any other kind of progression), are your friends genuinely happy for you? Or do they find a way to verbally minimise your achievement(s)? Sometimes, elevation requires isolation and you may find yourself losing a few friends whether you take an L or a G and that’s ok. Thank God for the time they spent in your life and wish them well in all they go on to do.
I was on Twitter late last year, scrolling my feed and I saw a young woman tweet about her attainment of a new job. She then went on to add that when she informed a close friend about her exciting new opportunity, she was less than happy for her. I found it quite shocking but unfortunately, these are the times that we live in. You will be very surprised at which life events (good or bad) add or remove people from your world.
What are your friendship dealbreakers? I always love to hear from you so feel free to drop a comment below!
Cheers to healthy and lifelong friendships in 2018.
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