20 Lessons I’ve Learned As A Single Woman

In this post, I’m going to share all the lessons I have learnt during this period of single-dom. I think that there are so many negative connotations that come with being single but it can actually be (and has proven to be) a very transformational period in a woman’s life. Contrary to what society may think or suggest, choosing to be single or being single for a long time doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you or that you’re picky…

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1) The first few months as a single person WILL be challenging (do not listen to anyone who tells you they will not be).

You will cry, you will smile, you will experience a multitude of emotions all at once.

2) Understand that you are embarking on a new journey and you will need to get to know yourself again, no matter how self assured you feel.

3) It really is better to be alone and happy than to be unhappy in a relationship. If you are not happy, walk away.

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4) A relationship should be your safe haven. Any relationship you are in should serve and honour you. If it doesn’t, you need to leave.

5) Don’t be afraid to reevaluate your standards. Know what it is that you want and don’t settle!

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6) Your circle is everything! Surround yourself with people who support and uplift you.

7) You will have times where you will reminisce and wonder if you made a mistake. Don’t beat yourself up when this happens, it’s natural to miss what you once had especially if you were in a long term relationship. Be thankful for the times you spent in your union and the lessons it has taught you.

8) You are single because you are supposed to be. Enjoy this period! Work, smile, eat, have fun, do what makes you happy!

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9) Don’t let the opinions of others influence your choices. Just because you have been single for a while, it doesn’t mean you need someone special in your life. You make decisions that are right for you and no one else.

10) Exes will try and come back into your life. This in inevitable. Stay strong, remind yourself of why you had to leave that particular situation.

11) Comparison is the thief of joy. Run your own race. Things may not seem amazing now but everything is coming together for your good.

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12) Don’t feel like a failure because things didn’t work out. It may be hard to accept but everything happens for a reason. If that’s where you were meant to be, things would have flowed effortlessly.

13) Don’t deny your emotions. If you’re not ok, that’s absolutely fine. We all have moments when we aren’t ourselves. It’s life.

14) Keep your head up, look forward and smile.

15) Don’t settle! Don’t settle! Don’t settle.

16) Affirmations are everything, especially if you are finding it hard to lift your mood. Affirm that you are worthy of love and other positive self talk. Remember that you attract what you magnify.

17) Everyone who shows you attention isn’t worthy of your time.

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18) Your time, energy and space are SO precious. Invest carefully.

19) Treat yourself! Don’t be afraid to treat yourself. Get your hair done, take yourself out to eat, go and watch your favourite film. Do the things you enjoy! Learn how to enjoy your own company.

20) Own this moment in your life. You don’t owe anyone any explanations.

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Over the past year and a half, I have learned so much. I can honestly say that I haven’t taken this period in my life for granted. One thing I would advice single women (and men) to do is have an open mind. You have to love yourself before you can truly love someone else. Don’t be afraid of this season. One day, you will look back and you will be grateful for this period in your life.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this post.

For those of you who are struggling to move on from a breakup, I created this thread on Twitter about a year ago which you can view here.

Don’t forget to like, subscribe and tell your friends about my space.

Kel xo

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My Self Care Saturday

Hi guys, in this post I’m going to be telling you all how I practised self care this weekend. It is so easy to get caught up in work and other commitments that we forget to take some time out to look after ourselves – we are all guilty of this. Self care is essential. It is something that you provide for you. In order to practise self care, you need to be able to identify your own needs and take the necessary steps to meet them. The result? You will feel more confident, productive and happier!

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I booked a spa treatment last month but wasn’t able to get an appointment as all weekends were booked. Fortunately, I was able to get a 2 hour slot yesterday. I went to Montcalm Royal London House, which is in the City (not too far from Old Street). I hadn’t been to the spa since I went to Amsterdam, so we are talking 3/4 months. I had the most amazing body massage. In addition to this, I used the sauna and steam room (twice) and the jacuzzi as well. This brief retreat was needed so I am so glad I was able to go. In 2018, I vow to have a spa morning once every 2-3 months.

 

When I left the spa, I was very hungry because I didn’t have breakfast before I left, so I walked to The Breakfast Club but there was a queue outside and I hate waiting for a long time to eat food, so I went to Bills instead. I had a lovely green smoothie, scrambled eggs on toast and a salad. When it comes to restaurants, Bills are a favourite of mine and not because their calamari is pretty amazing, I just love the atmosphere and the staff are always really friendly and helpful.

Once I’d finished, I went back to my area and got my eyebrows done. On the subject of perfect brows, the struggle is real. I’m still applying castor oil to them every night so hopefully the left one will have a growth spurt (the hairs are quite sparse).

So that was my Self Care Saturday! 

What do you do to practice self care this week or this weekend? I’d love to hear from you all.

Kel xo 

Topshop Limited Edition Mini Lip Bullet Trio -Review

Today, I’m going to be reviewing the newest additions to Topshop Beauty. I’m going to share my thoughts on the brand new Topshop Limited Edition Mini Lip Bullet Trio with you all.

I’m going to do this review a little differently, I’m going to share each product claim on the Topshop website and then I will share my opinion. This is because I have reviewed lipsticks on IKS before and I don’t want to repeat the same things over and over…

The three shades that form the trio and the lipsticks that I will be reviewing are Tale (light pink), Lovelorn (dark pink) and Lure (hot pink).

Claim: Easy on the go colour

Opinion: When it comes to lipsticks, I’m obsessed with pinks and reds. Those are the two colours I tend to go for.

Unfortunately, I find the pink lipsticks in this trio way too light for my complexion. If I wore them again, I would definitely have to mix them with a darker lipstick and as I have said in previous posts, I don’t really make such an exception unless I’m going on a night out. I define easy on the go as colours you can wear on any day and at any time. Personally, I felled that all three shades are more ideal for evening/night time wear.

Claim: Precise application

Opinion: I wasn’t able to apply the lipsticks precisely but on the other hand, a little bit did go a very long way. With some lipsticks, you do have to put on a lot of product before it looks like you even have anything on but I didn’t have any concerning application issues with this one. Size wise, the lipsticks are a little bit long in width compared to the usual size of a lipstick so this may take some getting used to. If I had to give the application process a mark out of 10, it would be a 7.

Claim: Soft, blendable formula

Opinion: I think the formula of this lipstick is soft and it has moisturising properties too. The finish was definitely soft-matte and it was really easy to blend.

Claim: Dewy finish

Opinion: The finish wasn’t 100% dewy. The lipsticks do have a subtle sheen though. Having oily/combination skin, I don’t like my lipsticks having too much of a dewy finish so I like that the finish isn’t too shiny. I’d definitely recommend this lipstick if you have oily/combination skin.

Claim: Vivid colour

Opinion: All of the colours are vivid. I also like that they are highly pigmented. My only issue with the colours in this lipstick trio is that they are not inclusive enough. I don’t think Topshop Beauty have actually tested this product on women with different complexions. Lure is my favourite shade because I feel that it definitely suited me best. Lovelorn and Tale would look amazing on fairer or olive complexions. On a positive note, this is a gift kit and it is the first Lip trio that Topshop have produced so hopefully they plan to add different shades to the collection very soon.

Pros: value for money (you can buy one lipstick for £5 or three for £15), packaging, perfect for evening wear, formula, blendable, soft matte finish

Cons: colours aren’t totally inclusive, finish not completely matte.

Top: Lure

Middle: Tale

Bottom: Lovelorn

Conclusion

I love the packaging of this product and I love the look of the product itself, the lipsticks have a very sleek and attractive look which is a bonus. However, the colours are not as inclusive as they could be. I say this because light pinks don’t necessarily compliment a variety of complexions. If Topshop do plan to add more lipsticks to this collection, then I recommend they carry out some consumer research. Women all over the world go to Topshop and they will come across Topshop Beauty. We should live in a time where a woman can visit a department store or cosmetics shop and feel like she is being catered to.

The Topshop Limited Edition Mini Lip Bullet Trio is priced at £12.50.

I hope you have enjoyed this review.

Do feel free to leave a comment or feedback.

I’d love to hear from you.

Kel xo

Superdrug Three Minute Formula Hair Removal Cream Review

Hi guys,

Today I will be reviewing Superdrug’s Three Minute Formula Hair Removal cream. I’ve been looking for a new hair removal cream for a while now because every time I pop to my local Boots/Superdrug, the 99p Nair sachets I have a fondness for seem to be sold out.

So when I saw that Superdrug had a decently priced alternative I was eager to try it out. Whenever I buy hair removal creams, I make sure that they have been formulated for sensitive skin and contain natural ingredients. I was glad to see this cream contains an extract of aloe vera and rosehip oil.

My thoughtsI really liked the texture of this cream. It was really soft, smooth and very easy to apply. Also, it had a very pleasant smell. Most hair removal creams tend to have an overpowering scent that fills the bathroom within a second but this one has a very lovely smell.

Another thing that I like about this cream is that within three minutes, the hair on my legs was ready for removal. This was very impressive because it does do exactly what it says on the packaging. With most removal creams, you need to leave them on your legs for 7-10 minutes before you start the hair removal process. My skin also felt very soft and even a few hours later, it’s still as smooth as a baby’s bottom.

I will definitely continue to use this product (I bought two packs) and I would recommend it if you want to minimise the hair removal process. It really is good value for money.

Pros: value for money, hair was ready for removal in three minutes as promised, soft and smooth cream made for easy application, cream comes with spatula which facilitates hair removal, contains aloe vera extracts and rosehip oil (both of which are very kind to skin)

Cons: I think the packaging could look better. I know that Superdrug own range products have a simplistic look but for such a good product, a bolder design with a bit of colour wouldn’t be bad.

Superdrug’s Three Minute Formula Hair Removal Cream is priced at £2.99.

(There is currently a 2 for £5 offer on selected Superdrug hair removal products)

I hope you’ve enjoyed this review.

Don’t forget to like, subscribe and tell your friends about my space.

Kel xo

Self Care Tips

Although the phrase itself may sound indulgent, the reality is that ‘self care’ matters. Self care comprises of a few habits that are crucial to your overall functioning. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that it’s ok to switch off from the world and focus on what makes us happy.

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It’s so easy to neglect taking care of ourselves especially when we become busy and overwhelmed with tasks. Sometimes we may actually feel like we are in the wrong for leaving work on our desk to go to that gym class or hanging out with friends when we have a meeting to prepare for later in the week.

There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself. If you can’t take care of yourself, how do you expect someone to take care of you?

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Here are some self care tips that have worked for me:

1) Read a book

2) Do a social media detox

3) Have a shower

4) Have a cup of tea (peppermint and chamomile are great for relaxation)

5) Watch your favourite TV show

6) Take yourself out (yes, that’s right! Learn how to enjoy your own company)

7) Meditate (one of my favourite past times. Apps such as Pacifica and Headspace can ease you into meditative practice)

8) Book a spa day or a treatment

9) Go to the gym or workout at home

10) Go for a walk

11) Listen to music

12) Burn a candle

13) Declutter

14) Pay mind to what you read and listen to. Don’t pay attention to anything that doesn’t make you feel good about yourself

15) Don’t feel guilty for taking time out. It’s your God given right

I hope you have enjoyed reading this post and feel free to share your own self care tips.

Kel xo

How I Look After My Crochet Braids

Hey guys, welcome to my space.

In this post, I’m going to be talking about how I look after my crochet braids. Since I decided to stop religiously relaxing my hair almost two years ago, crochet braids have been a Godsend. There are so many different styles to choose them and they are very easy to install (check out YouTube tutorials) so here is how I look after mine (with some words of wisdom to making your crochet braids last as long as they can)…

1) Try not to tie your crochet braids up all the time

2) Ensure your cornrows are small-medium size so they can keep your braids in place for longer

3) If you are a crochet braid newbie, look for hair from brands that comes with a loop or has ‘suitable for crochet braid’ or something along those lines on the packaging.

4) Feel the hair! Just like you would do if you are buying weave, open the packet and feel the hair to determine whether it’s good quality or not. Always feel the hair before you buy and read reviews too!

5) When you go to sleep, keep your braids down. Try not to sleep with them tied up as this can create tension which may leave you with a headache.

6) If you are doing crochet braids for the first time, use a mirror. I’ve been doing this for almost two years now and I still use a mirror.

7) Oil your scalp! I have bought a bottle which comes with a nozzle and I’ve put my favourite oils in it (olive, castor and jojoba) and I oil my scalp twice a week. Braids and a itchy head are a irritating combination so look after your natural hair while it’s in its protective style.

8) Research different styles and decide what will work for you. You may want curly hair crochet braids or Senegalese twists. Whatever you decide to do make sure you are happy, especially if you are getting them installed by a hairdresser.

9) Try not to be too forceful with your braids because as time passes, the cornrows will loosen and they won’t be able to hold your braids. So if you do want to tie your braids up, make sure you don’t do it too tight.

10) Buy an extra pack. So if 5 packs per head are recommended, buy 6. You may actually decide to go for a more fuller look so having an extra pack will stop you making another visit to the hair shop.

11) Treat your crochet braids like you would a weave. Don’t put too much spray or leave in conditioner on them because the hair will get tangled. Just use a small amount no more than once or twice a week.

I hope these tips have been helpful and feel free to share any that you may have.

Kel xo

Dating Dealbreakers

Hi guys, welcome to my space!

In this post, I’ll be talking about dealbreakers in dating. Everyone has something to say when it comes to unacceptable actions during the dating period. Dealbreakers have been at the centre of many tweets, debates, relationship blogs, articles and even the odd video on YouTube.

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There is a big step between recognising a clear dealbreaker and actually taking enforceable action such as addressing the issue with the person you are dating or in the worst of cases, going ghost.

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Personally, I have adopted a very discriminatory approach when it comes to dating. That doesn’t mean I’m picky…

There’s a clear difference between being picky and discriminatory. Being picky focuses more on the outer appearance (looks,possessions etc) while being discriminatory should encourage a person to focus on things such as character, family background, future aspirations etc.

So far, I have found that this approach is best. I’ve found that I’m very protective over who I give my time and my energy to. I wouldn’t encourage any woman to date every single man who shows her a bit of interest. Taking the time to actually see what you are dealing with is essential. Get to know each other and then the idea is that you use what you know to make an informed choice as to whether there will be a date. This kind of thinking saves so much time. In a year and a half of single life, I have briefly dated 3 people.

Although these experiences were brief, I am thankful for them because I was able to think long and hard about what I value in a potential partner. In this day and age, the sad reality is that the majority of people going out on dates really have no clue what they are looking for.

The Independent recently published an article claiming that single people will spend 96 million hours and £2 billion pounds on bad dates so maybe being discriminatory isn’t so bad after all…

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Here are some things that I believe are dating dealbreakers:

•Poor communication

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As millennials, we do tend to make excuses when it comes to the regularity of communication during the talking stages/lead up to a date.

If someone asks you out on a date and you don’t hear from them until a few hours before the date, this is a definite red flag.

I am a firm believer in a guy registering his interest. If a man wants a woman, he will make it known and he will be consistent. If he really wants to get to know you and ultimately start dating you he will make an effort to communicate by phone and text and if he doesn’t do this then he’s just not that into you.

•Quality of conversation

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Call me particular but the kind of conversations you are having with potentials are also important. I’m an intellectual and my preference is to engage in conversations where I talk about the world, politics, life…all that lovely stuff.

If a guy seems to talk about things that lack substance all the time then you might be wasting your time. A good way to see if you are is by talking to him about something that interests you and see how he responds. Being in the presence of someone who knows how to express themselves is enlightening. I’m not saying you should only date men who have the intellect of a motivational speaker but still, seek an effective communicator who can hold his own in a conversation. This may sound O.T.T but tracking his social media activity can give you a glimpse into his world and what matters most to him.

•Bad manners

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A huge dealbreaker! A man who does not respect those who are inferior/superior to him is a man that isn’t worth your time. Manners are needed in everyday life and if your potential can’t be nice to people around him then what makes you think he’s going to be nice to you? Also, pay attention to how he treats family and friends.

•Unemployment/Refusal to look for work

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This is somewhat of a controversial dealbreaker because of the differing opinions and questions such as ‘What if he has all the qualities you look for in a man but he just hasn’t found his purpose yet?’

I don’t think a woman who is secure within herself and knows what she wants should date an unemployed man. If you are goal oriented and have high hopes for the future, then you should attract and want to be with a man who also wants these things. What you don’t want is to be a high flyer career wise and have a partner who stays indoors playing on his PS4 all day. We all make our own choices but when it comes to unemployed men, be VERY careful as the majority of them are out to shatter your dreams and that’s a fact.

Also be weary of guys who can’t give you a proper explanation of what they do for work. Don’t see money and status and get caught up when you have absolutely no clue how they are earning their money. You will end up finding out you have either worried about nothing (which is fine) or you will end up very embarrassed/humiliated when truths comes to light. Don’t take the risk.

•Interest

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Again, as women we spend far too much time looking for signs when they are right there in plain sight.Interest and effort go hand in hand. If there’s no interest, there’s no effort. It’s that simple. Don’t waste any time and thought space hoping that he will feel differently about you one day. If a guy wants to move things forward you will know and that’s when you are in a position to reciprocate what you are receiving (if you wish).

•Failure to be transparent or clear about what it is they want

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Again, this is quite similar to interest but if they say they want one thing and do another (so if their actions aren’t matching their words) then it’s possible that they may be emotionally unavailable. Anyone taking you for a ride is not worth your time. Whether it’s fun or a serious relationship, you should always know where you stand after a significant amount of time. Don’t stay quiet for so long that you end up in a situationship. Know where you stand! All the time!

• Any negative self talk (you are too good for me, my ex was crazy and unstable or anything along those lines)

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This dealbreaker should have most women running as far away as they can BUT still some of us can’t help but fall into this trap. If a man tells you that you are too good for him, the best thing you can do is believe him. He is subconsciously pre warning you of the possible hell, confusion, indecision and heartbreak he is planning to bring into your life. Girl, run, just run and don’t look back!

We’ve all bid people adieu in our lifetimes and sometimes saying goodbye does suck but if a guy can’t say anything nice about a previous partner, this is a major cause for concern and it won’t be long until you start to see why he has so many exes. Asking a guy how his previous relationship ended is a must. Aim to do this within 2-3 dates.

• Bad hygiene

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Taking care of yourself is a necessity. Tasks such as showering, brushing your teeth, doing the laundry and eating the right foods are necessary for human survival and if your potential can’t take care of themselves, how do you expect them to take care of you?

Remember this:

If you continuously practice self love, then the idea is that your tolerance for the kind of men who commit the dealbreakers I have mentioned in this post will decrease. Remember that a man is not a project. It is NOT your job to fix, heal or coddle anybody’s son. Engrain your dating/relationship expectations in your head and stick to them like paper sticks

Personally, I would like to see my fellow millennial women making wise and informed choices. If you spend so much time looking after yourself (work, play, self care, business endeavours etc) then why would you allow someone to come into your life and turn your world upside down?

Don’t settle, what you are looking for is out there.

I hope you have enjoyed this post and feel free to let me know what your dating dealbreakers are. I’d love to hear from you.

Kel xo

 

Revlon Colorstay Brow Mousse and Brow Pencil Review

Hi guys, welcome to my space!

I have another product review for you. This time, I’ll be putting two products from Revlon’s Colorstay collection to the test: the Revlon Colorstay Brow Pencil and the Revlon Colorstay Brow Mousse.

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Honestly, I have to say that this brow pencil is one of the best I have come across in recent years. I love that it comes with an angled tip. This made filling in my brows so much easier. The pencil bares similarities to the Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Definer. Another thing that I love about the pencil is that its buildable. When you are doing your brows, always apply any product with light, soft strokes and then increase application when you are happy with the shape you have created. It was so easy to add more product and the spoolie really spread the product evenly. Some spoolies that come with brow pencils/products aren’t all that great.

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Lastly, this product left my brows looking very sculpted and natural at the same time. Cleaning my brows up with concealer was so much easier too and again, that’s thanks to the angled tip. I would definitely recommend this product to you guys, especially if you have shapeless/sparse brows and you are looking for a brow product that is going to stay put throughout the day. Also, at £6.99, you are getting your money’s worth. In order to make it last as long as possible, I would say try to avoid pushing too much of the pencil upwards because there is a risk of the pencil breaking, so just use the bit that you need.

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The Revlon Colorstay Brow Pencil is available to purchase from Superdrug and is priced at £6.99.

Now I’m going to talk a little bit about the Revlon Colorstay Brow Mousse. I was sent two shades: Dark Brown and Soft Black. I tend to stay away from black pencils and pomades when it comes to my brows because if I take a picture, my brows will look pretty dark so I can’t imagine what they would look like if I used black brow products.

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I really liked the mousse. It was perfect for setting my brows and gave them a bit more colour. I liked that you have to twist the top of the pencil in order to get the product out so again, I’d advise that you twist just enough to get the product that you need. As you can see from the pictures, my brows are a lot fuller, sculpted and defined. I will definitely continue to use both products together on a daily basis (sorry, ABH! I’m moving on for a while) and on make up free days or when I’m going to the gym, I’ll apply the brow mousse because my brows are quite sparse. From afar, you wouldn’t think I had any and also my right brow grows a lot faster than my left so I’m having to constantly apply castor oil to them before I go to bed. Price wise, £7.99 is a good price to pay for a product that is long lasting. If you have fuller brows, you can apply this product by itself for a bit more definition.

Brow Pencil

Pros – angled tip (which speeds up brow application), good value for money, easy to apply, perfect for sparse and shapeless brows.

Cons – possibility for pencil breaking if it is twisted upwards too much.

Brow Mousse 

Pros – gives brows a fuller more defined look, good value for money, also makes the brows look natural.

Cons – it’s only available in four shades.

The Revlon Colorstay Brow Mousse is available to purchase from Superdrug and is priced at £7.99.

I hope you have enjoyed this review.

Don’t forget to like and subscribe.

Tell your friends about Kelle’s space.

Kel xo

Issa Weekend Look!

Hi guys, welcome to my space.

 I would like to share products I used to create a girly and glamorous weekend look.

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Foundation: IMAN Cosmetics Second to None Cream to Powder Foundation in Earth 3 

I’ve been using products from IMAN Cosmetics for about two years now. My fave foundations are the Cream to Powder (above) and the Stick Foundation. Cream to Powder is really easy to apply and it makes my skin look flawless.

Eyeshadow: NYX Hot Singles: Colour HS24 Dayclub

I bought my second Hot Singles eyeshadow last weekend and it needs to stop there! I really love this colour. The brown-gold hues really compliment my skintone.

Setting Powder: Sacha Cosmetics Buttercup Setting Powder

I’ve been using this for over a year now. I’m being really frugal with my setting powder right now because it’s sold out every wear. This setting powder is really good if you have oily/combination skin. It really does keep your makeup in place.

Lips: Revlon Superlustrous Lipstick in the shade Naughty Plum 

The latest addition to my lipstick collection. I love the colour, its easy to apply. What else can I say? I love a good lippy!

Concealer: LA Girl Pro Conceal HD High Definition Concealer in the shade Chestnut

LA Girl Pro Concealers are a makeup must have. If you don’t own one then I suggest you get one. I use mine to cover my hyperpigmentation and clean up my brows.

Eyeliner: Revolution HD Pro Smoky Eyeliner (waterproof) 

This eyeliner is amazing. I love how pigmented the colour is. You can also blend it if you want a fuller effect.

Mascara: Revlon Mega Multiplier Mascara: Blackest Black

This mascara really lengthens my lashes and it didn’t smudge.

Brows: Revlon Colorstay Brow Pencil in the shade Dark Brown and Revlon Colorstay Brow Mousse in the shade Dark Brown 

These two products are my new brow staples!

Face Powder: Black Up Two Way Cake in the shade TWO4

I can’t survive without this powder. Although its pricey, the two way cake keeps skin matte for hours and it also contains Vitamins A and E (which stop ageing).

Setting Spray: Urban Decay All Nighter Setting Spray 

Since I was introduced to this marvellous wonder last year, I can’t get enough. I always make sure I have one at home and one in my bag. The travel size version of this spray is £10.00. All you need is two-three sprays to keep your makeup in place.

(My crochet braids are X-Pression Senegalese Twist Large 24” Pre Looped and they are from Spell Beauty.)

I hope you have enjoyed this quick post!

What are your go to products for a weekend look? 

Don’t forget to like, subscribe…and tell your friends about Kelle’s Space.

Kel xo